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The Shape of Dildos to Cum
By John Saxon

Ok all you-let’s-save Western civilization lads, get your tentacles around this one:

“Sales of dildo sex toys inspired by the Academy Award-winning film Shape of Water have skyrocketed following its success at the Oscars, The Wrap reports.

The dildos, which are inspired by a character known as the ‘Amphibian Man,’ reportedly sold out within 20 minutes of the film being awarded the Oscar for Best Picture at Sunday’s award ceremony.

“Our sales have gone through the roof!” the dildo’s sculptor told the outlet. “All ‘Shape of Water’ toys sold out as soon as I posted them… in less than 20 minutes!”

The sculptor, who works under the name Ere, added that she is considering creating another batch of similar dildos, saying that there was a “pretty good amount” of demand since Sunday.

The dildos, which are 100 percent silicon and based on what they believe the ‘Amphibian Mans’ penis would look like.’”

Yep, that’s our women. But, according to Cracker, it is all my fault. Yep, even for events before my birth in a kind of anthropic principle:

It appears that the great Hollywood fishman is somewhat challenged in the dick department, or at least compared to the statistics of the average LaFond viewer:

“The medium dildo is 7 and-a-half inches in length, 7 inches of which are “insertable.” It has a 6-inch circumference around at its widest point. The small is 6 inches long, 5 inches of which are insertable. That one has a 4 and-a-half inch circumference.”

What they forgot to add was that probably an alien would shoot acidic-pussy dissolving cum (as in the “Alien” movie), and have fishhooks all over the shaft of the dick. Hollywood did not go there though.

Forget it, it has ended long ago, and now we live in the rotting corpse of a civilization. Being a divorce and criminal lawyer, I can feel when something is too rotten to save, and our world stinks so much that even the blowies are repulsed. But, we will go through the motions of resistance, just for the Achaean record.

Yes Cracker, I am responsible for absolutely everything, even before my birth.

Turd America

Trumpapocalypse Now: The Advent of an American Usurper at the fall of Western Civilization

Own the collected works of John Saxon, Professor X, Eirik Blood Axe, William Rapier and other counter culture critics, on Kindle, via the link below. Amazon:

The Great Train Wreck of the West

Add Comment
Sam J.March 10, 2018 2:08 AM UTC

Oops. Guys too.
BobMarch 9, 2018 9:15 PM UTC

It's a race against time for whites. The System hopes to stem its loss of information dominance until it can safely transition to outright ethnic genocide.
crackerMarch 9, 2018 12:09 PM UTC

I'd like to say "thanks" for the shout-out, jonny, but its hard to know if it's you or one of your alter-egos that is doing the writing. did you see the movie?
BobMarch 8, 2018 7:50 PM UTC

No Valerie Solanas stops The Factory!