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The Suburban Swivel
Your Basic Ambulation Aggression Avoidance Application


I have advocated the shoulder peek a few times, where you walk like a detrimental negro bull, arms swinging—good exercise and a demonstration of purpose—swiveling your head downward on the side where your arm swings back to engage your peripheral vision to determine if you are being followed. You need to be leery of suspicious body language when in dangerous territory, want to avoid the buck negro following you gaining a feral sense of your accurate or suppositional accusation by way of cerebral rotation that he’s “walking’ up on yo or sumptin’.” For in the ghetto, near as well as deep, a hunter trying to sneak up on you who fails to gain the advantage of surprise, might opt for the advantage of community indignation and enlist all bystanders to your body-language slander, of your slanderous suggestion by vigilance that he was up to no good and then try and draw you into a confrontation.

I ran into a similar situation two decades ago in South Baltimore, just about at Hanover and Fort, [coming from the much deserved defilement of the airline stewardess who lived three doors from the end of row and recruited me as a thrice-a-week slave-master] when two negro bucks broke bad with me and said, “You, what yo got!” or something to that ebonic effect, and I drew my Othello gravity blade about a step too soon, and upon hearing the ping of high-carbon steel on high-carbon steel thought better of their aggression and immediately began framing my aggression as an actual societal fact, when a witless, upper-class, bimbo, ghost-person was letting her designer dog out to shit on the sidewalk and they started accusing me of pulling a weapon on them and trying to rob them—as if any single man ever tried to rob any pair of men on a Baltimore street—and she was soon dutifully calling the police on me, who came a hunting and I went a running…

You—sorry—yo, don’t want to be that hairy little hunted caveboy, you want to be smooth and let them know that you are vigilant without being “blatant about dat shit” for the pets of our liberal masters are sensitive to such implications. Below are some techniques for swiveling your head and keeping rabbit-level peripheral vision on your six-o’clock, without inviting a “throw-down” situation. The idea is to keep the low-IQ criminal leery that you are on to him and nervous that you are devilishly vigilant and setting him up for some terrible fate, but yet not making it obvious to him and bystanders that you are definitely onto him, which might trigger a wolfing escalation [thus triggering a face-saving confrontation] that could put you at risk of a straight-up assault, even a mob attack, rather than a failed aggression. Anything that can be said to be an escalated argument, confrontation or your levelling of a criminal accusation will be framed by cops, media and immediate thug onlookers as “a fight” and be discounted as predation, thus invalidating your defense as prejudicial escalation into mutual combat.

Look, cracker, police are being put on trial for “profiling” suspects. What do you think your chances will be of beating civil rights charges that you prejudicially acted, Z-Man like, against an innocent, unarmed, 25-year-old teenager with a knife?

So, how to keep an eye on your six o’clock in more open suburban surroundings?

Your reference point is the urban hunting matrix where you must appear cagey, must think and act and prowl like you are a MOSSAD assassin simultaneously hunting Nazis and on the lookout for right wing death squads. Seriously, when you are occupying the short vertical horizons in the city, you have to be a caged tiger or leopard, constantly expecting to be attacked and on high alert. But when you are in the sissy suburban zone you have to be polite about this shit and avoid seeming to accuse with body language and drawing out the liberal ghost guilt squad to support your oppressed hunter.

Appear to be looking for a specific address by swiveling your head to look at the address numbers on the house but instead of focusing on that 90-degree reference point, using your peripheral vision [which will reduce under stress] to scan the area behind you when your head reaches 90 degrees, which gives you a 180 degree warning vision in each direction, and 180 X two is 360. The vision behind you is really motion sensing and shadow glimpsing, especially when you get to be my age. This sends out mutually copasetic vibes to your hunter, who has just arrived from the city on his mamma’s section 8 voucher and his advocates, the guilty ghost residents. The local ghosts will think you are looking for a friend’s house and your hunter will think you are picking up dope and that you’ll be strapped for action.

-Bending and tying your shoestring is one gambit that can be used only once during a period you are being followed.

The angles are more round and the county blocks longer than city blocks, so I suggest timing a swivel every third step to each side and then when you hit a bend, and you make this 90 degree turn of your head, you won’t just see a shadow of motion but will get a good eye contact on the hoodrat tracking you. Every block that he follows you basically doubles the likelihood that he is hunting you and that it is not accidental. You look to your side when that arm swings back. Walking stiff like some Prussian officer makes this obvious and hurts your neck.

If you are convinced this fucker is coming up behind you with bad intentions you need to turn on him and attack at some point. Martial arts defense from rear attacks are all bullshit. You can sort him out and make sure you are not turning on an innocent pedestrian by changing directions, mid-block, up alleys and into lesser used areas, away from main thoroughfares.

If you do this after noticing he has followed you for three blocks and he then follows you for three direction changes, turn around and charge him, close line his ass and jump up and down on his wrists and then his ankles, then continue on your way.

Be prepared to break off such an attack if you notice an idiot slack-jawed look of, “Awe fuck dis dude thinks I’m pacing him.” When you turn on the guilty they verbalize or run. When you turn on the coincidental casualty, they act like the coincidental casualty. I know, I’ve done both.

Note that crossing streets mid-block permits a short-notice clear look when you swivel your head 90 degrees while moving off at 90 degrees.

Keep your head on a swivel but don’t let the swivel break.

A Once Great Medieval City: 2016: Impressions of Baltimore Maryland

https://www.amazon.com/Once-Great-Medieval-City-Impressions/dp/1534731210/ref=sr_1_28?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1511038353&sr=1-28&refinements=p_27%3AJames+LaFond

Let the Weak Fall: A Guide to Urban Strife for the Misanthropic Man

https://www.amazon.com/Let-Weak-Fall-Strife-Misanthropic/dp/1519740719/ref=sr_1_45?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1511038678&sr=1-45&refinements=p_27%3AJames+LaFond

https://www.amazon.com/Let-Weak-Fall-James-LaFond-ebook/dp/B075Y8M4ZD/ref=sr_1_63?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1511039445&sr=1-63&refinements=p_27%3AJames+LaFond

Add Comment
BobApril 14, 2018 10:51 PM UTC

It would be a good to have someone add a video clip showing the gait. Thanks. (Whitey might have a problem pulling off such a walk without looking phony).
LaManoApril 13, 2018 2:34 PM UTC

So you're in a suburban outskirt of the ghetto (and that's almost all of them these days), you're appropriately swiveling your head, and you realize there's someone uncomfortably close behind you, maybe 20 or 30 feet.

Is it reasonable, rather than make turns and do things to see if he's actually tailing you, to just step to the side (not necessarily tying your shoe, I don't wear tie shoes anyhow), don't try to make it look like you're doing something else, but let them walk on by?

If they're just innocently behind you, just happened to fall in and pace you, they might not even notice what you're doing, so that's OK, once they're past you just go about your business.

If they're NOT innocent, I know the LaFond rules - don't verbalize, don't make challenging eye contact, be as ready as you can be in case he comes toward you ... ? But where do you look, and how, to let him know you're not easy but avoid triggering an attack ... ? Once you stop and turn, is your only move to attack?
responds:April 15, 2018 9:35 AM UTC

I will write this as an article this week.

Thank you.