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The Jurisprudence of Malicious Farting
By William Rapier

Don’t cry American Psycho, we are about to see the word “jurisprudence” used in an article at this site. And, what a story, for it deals with our favorite topic, farting. Sex may have departed for many of us, but no matter what our age, we still can fart and bask in its gentile aromas. Sure beats freshly brewed coffee. Usually, with intestinal decay, farts get better with age anyway. Life is good.

What is even better is that in this country you can fart in someone’s face, point your ass right at them like a missile launcher, even shit your pants while doing it, and not face the wrath of torts in the courts:

“A $1.8 million negligence case by a retrenched contracts administrator against his former employer has been rejected by Victoria’s Supreme Court with the judge accepting that farting in the office is not bullying and just part of Australian humour.

Former employee David Hingst alleged his supervisor at Construction Engineering Australia in Melbourne repeatedly abused him, including by holding him down and farting on him.

He claimed it resulted in depression, anxiety and physical injuries, and claimed $1.8 million in damages as part of an unfair dismissal case.

But the defendant denied all the claims and Justice Rita Zammit did not believe Hingst was bullied at work, and in dismissing the claim, accepted that his redundancy was genuine.

Hingst alleged to the court that his supervisor, Greg Short, would “lift his bum and fart” on or at him, sometimes daily.

Short told the court while he remembered farting, he didn’t recall thrusting his backside directly at Hingst to deliberately offend him.

He said that there may have been some cultural misunderstanding because Hingst was German, and didn’t really understand that farting was just an Australian way of joking around.

Short said: “I knew that [Hingst] took quite offence to it and I – to be honest at the time I didn’t understand, but then obviously realising it was [Hingst] being [of] German descent, whereas us Australians are sort of brought up you sort of accept it or think oh it’s just – that’s what happens.”

If you come down under, just remember when you feel the pressure build up, down under, open your butt cracks for smother passage of the effluent. Do that and you will get on here like a pig in its own shit.

Look American Psycho, here is your beloved word, “jurisprudence,” as promised.

Turd America

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