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A Burning Issue
By American Psycho

American Psycho recognizes the great sacrifice which a gay rights lawyer has made to draw our attention to the destructive effects of fossil fuels, which are keeping many Americans alive during this ultra-cold snap, a truly evil thing. It was an act of fiery advocacy, drawing our attention to the fact that fossil fuels are killing us all. Burning us alive, one by one, every man, woman and child. Worse that poison gas in its effects; no, it is a poison gas. You think I am mad? Read this:

Gasp, after reading that I almost fell out of character, but after a big shit, I am back to finish the satire, I mean serious article.

The brave lawyer set himself ablaze and increased the carbon footprint of the world to tell us all that the Vietnam War is truly evil and that America should therefore stop bombing Vietnam, causing little girls burnt with napalm to run screaming down roads:

Sorry, I must mean Syria. No, sorry again, all that is wrong, he wasn’t an anti-war protestor, I mixed him up with nobody else, because the Left are not protesting this one.

But, couldn’t he have just added an anti-war sentence on his suicide note? That would have put him in the ranks of true greatness, beyond even All Gore.

“A nationally known advocate for gay rights and the environment died Saturday in a fiery Prospect Park suicide, with his self-immolation meant as a wake-up call to save the planet.

The charred remains of David Buckel, 60, were discovered shortly after sunrise when firefighters responded to a 6:40 a.m. blaze in the southwest corner of the sprawling Brooklyn park.

“I am David Buckel and I just killed myself by fire as a protest suicide,” read a hand-written suicide note left near the blackened circle of burned grass. “I apologize to you for the mess.”

A second, longer note — left with the first inside an envelope marked “For the police” — said Buckel doused himself in “fossil fuel” before starting the fatal fire as a metaphor for the destruction of the planet.

“My early death by fossil fuel reflects what we are doing to ourselves,” he wrote. “A lifetime of service may best be preserved by giving a life . . . Honorable purpose in life invites honorable purchase in death.

“I hope it is an honorable death that might serve others.”

He is still my favorite gay lawyer self-sacrifice. I wish the rest of the Left could follow this sort of protest, like the Tibetan protests against China, and maybe we could move to a carbon-free communist one-world utopia more quickly than by the almost equally as brave efforts of great humanitarian heroes such as George Soros.

If I were not locked up in a high security mental institution, I would have been there too, marching for LGBT/science, wearing my pink pussy hat.

Turd America

Add Comment
Sam J.April 23, 2018 3:22 AM UTC

Thank God for his sacrifice. I now know the dangers of fossil fuels and will never pour gasoline on myself and light it.
BobApril 20, 2018 6:40 PM UTC

That immolation story sounds like pure fantasy craftwork. Where is the video that any serious activist would surely have had someone make? Where are these charred remains?

The MSM just invents these stories, or embellishes them beyond all recognition.

Just like that risible gay rubgy player on Flight 93, and the "Let's roll!" Hollywood script.

I bet this guy did himself in with pills or a gun, and the writers' guild did the rest.