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‘Zombies Do Exist’
A Phone Call from my Former Landlord

Mister Jim, zombies really exist. They are out there.

I Just Saw Them!

They inhabit Microcenter. There was one human being there who smiled and said “Have a nice day,” the last guy there.

Microcenter is a nest of zombies.

My lap top battery had to be seen at Microcenter. I interacted with this one young lady who you could tell was not used to interacting with the human species. She got a slight smile on her face as she tapped away and entered her domain.

Then there is another guy—no personality, same thing.

Then there is another guy—no personality, same thing.

Then when they communicated with each other it was like alien spores from an Aliens movie trying to achieve species recognition.

I am serious, dude, find an excuse to come into Microcenter—especially at the knowledge bar—and try to have some kind of human interaction. These people are not humanoids. I was the alien specious. This has gotta LaFond story about dystopian America written all over it.

Now I’m on my way to Home Depot, where I assume humanoids still exist.

Hopefully I’ll be able to get non-digital paint.

Wish me luck, Mister Gym, and remember, you’ve got mail, real mail, paper with addresses printed on it, at my place. What a fuckin’ world.

-Sensei Steve

Let the World Fend for Itself

Big Ron's Baltimore: A Working Man's View of Urban Blight

Add Comment
KenJune 1, 2018 2:32 PM UTC

Yes indeed, Zombies do exist! Here's a fearless "Zombie Killer" dismounting his cycle and attempting to rid his world, at least, of this blight: