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Mud Man Versus Squirt Boy
Who Won This Standout Prison Brawl?

This link was sent to me by the legal counsel for Stoker the Biker who was recently worked over by three Pagans as a reward for his longtime affiliation with the Hell's Angels


"A cop killer on New Jersey's Death Row was executed yesterday killed in a prison fight by another notorious murderer, officials said. Robert (Mudman) Simon, who had a reputation for taunting fellow inmates at New Jersey State Prison in Trenton, apparently singled out Ambrose (Squirt Boy) Harris as his next target. As Simon was let out of his cell so it could be fumigated, he tried to tackle Harris in a recreation cage, sources said. But Harris, a convicted murderer and rapist, sent Simon flying headfirst into a fixed metal table. Then he stomped the unconscious Simon to death, the sources said."

Yep, pretty basic, Bro.

No one knows why the giant negro "Squirt Boy" was so-named, but one supposes it might have had something to do with his erstwhile avocation—rape!

Before all you palefaces get your camo jockstraps [Would you believe that Varg Vilkernes has his own clothing line, marketed by Gucci?] in a knot over Mudman being done in by a dindu—who emphatically did this shit here—we might want to understand exactly why Mudman, a white biker and member of the prestigious Warlocks outlaw Motorcycle Club, was named "Mudman."

Was he a mixed race individual?

Did he perform cunnilingus on a menstruating negress?

Did he sodomize a lawn jockey in an exclusive suburban gated community as the ghost folk filed off to church one Sunday morning?

No, nothing so highly noble as these supposed acts were committed by the degenerate hero, Mudman, who was so named for a dining room deed in which he consumed a human feces sandwich.

That's right, I'm a Squirt Boy backer in this brawl.

It might be noted that the lawyer who had represented both inmates at their capital crime trial [Mudman snuffed a pig at a traffic stop] said that he was shocked that Squirt Boy was victorious, as he knew no death row inmate as brutal and violent as Mudman. He further opined that Mudman would have wanted to go out fighting. So all is good in Definitelydidthisstan New Jersey.

The Boned Zone: Surviving Urban Predation

Add Comment
BobJune 5, 2018 1:35 AM UTC

Pity it wasn't the shit sandwich. The epitaph would have been funnier.