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‘Okay, Maniac’
Crackpot Mailbox: A Letter from Da Po-Leese

This was forwarded to me by a man from the still prostrate Confederacy claiming that he calls his little paleface sister “David Duke” and that the police officer objecting to my view of the knife as a defensive weapon is her fiancé.

“I can’t believe my friend recommended your site. Okay maniac, you posit the knife as a defensive weapon, and my experience as a police officer has proven it to be an offensive weapon. Might you address my experience honestly?”

-David Duke’s Boyfriend

Certainly, Officer.

I am sure your experience is real, and that when you try and arrest a man for your masters and he in his mind is defending himself with his knife, that you, in your mind, see his defensive action as an attack on an officer of the ZOG Matrix. In such a case both of you have framed yourselves as the moral defender, he of himself and you of society. However, I examine such things biomechanically and behaviorally, with no concern for your or his dignity or morality. My examination of 1,675 acts of violence documented via interviews between May 1996 and June 2000 showed that roughly 70% of knife, shank, razor and sword use was offensive [with shanks almost entirely offensive and swords mostly defensive] with 28% defensive and 2% mutual combat, or duels. Even with mutual combats, there is a defender and an aggressor, determined biomechanically, as the initiator of contact. In case you are a boxing fab, look at it this way, every time Mike Tyson defended his heavyweight title he did so as the behavioral and biomechanical attacker. On the aggression scale, when examining action, I bump aggression like so:

-Moral aggression is trumped by

-Behavioral aggression, which is trumped by

-Biomechanical aggression

I have prevented dozens of attacks from going to contact by getting a knife into my hand, not brandishing it, but getting it ready in the unseen hand. On every such occasion I broke at least one Maryland Law.

But that is not the reason why I sometimes carry a knife as I have discouraged attacks with the same method using pens, razors, canes, sticks and umbrellas and ground litter.

My staying free of contact with hoodrats is not worth me going to prison under your supervision.

Nothing is worth arrest, not my grandchildren, not my worn out ball sack, not my misspent life, nothing.

I will not be arrested so long as I have a knife.

I carry a knife for two eventualities, usually as a backup weapon, in case:

1. I have been overrun, put down and am in danger of being stomped out by the urban thugs whom you protect from my defensive agency by harassing me and insuring that I am either disarmed or punished for being armed.

2. So after I manage to cut my way out of such a situation as described above [a situation which can only occur where I have been banned from strapping on a sword or bowie knife as a defensive measure as I mind my own business], so that I can defend against the arresting officer, who seeks to take away my dignity and humanity by chaining me up and throwing me in a cage. I’m thinking, if I’m on the ground, when the cop shows up, I’d drag him down into the gut pile with my left hand and stab-ripcut his inner thigh or groin, then use him as a human shield to get close enough to the next pig to do an effective charge, preferably entering the subclavian cavity above the vest, heart and collar bone and dish-slicing around the neck and detaching the sternomastoid muscle and opening the windpipe. I think that would earn me an impromptu firing squad.

Thank you, Officer, for rebooting my most common combat visualization.

The Violence Project

An Omnibus Volume of James' First Two Books

Nice Day for a Funeral

Add Comment
MannyDecember 23, 2018 5:15 AM UTC

Where does this dude get off calling you a maniac? This sounds like a very rational and thoughtful plan of action.
Mike_CDecember 23, 2018 2:03 AM UTC

My experience from doing clinical cardiology was that the majority of people I met while on duty were having, or had had, a heart attack or some other serious cardiac problem. Strangely, my friend the psychiatrist found that the majority of people he met were flat out crazy or had some serious psychological disorder.

Consider "sample bias" and the problem of whether the data one has available are broadly generalizable.
ShepDecember 23, 2018 12:17 AM UTC

There is no such thing as an "offensive" or "defensive" weapon. The inanimate tool may be deployed in either mode, but its use is situational.