James, this is a live one.

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Dec 22, 2018, 9:43 PM (13 hours ago)

How Law Enforcement rolls on the Left Coast, baby!

So this long-time veteran Sgt. decides to take a walk on the wild side, cranks up the volume to "Lola" by the Kinks, and heads out to find some seamen willing to serve under him as the stern, yet sensual, skipper of the Good Ship Lollipop. After connections are made, the 3/5th of the Village People decide to stock up on some Devil's Cabbage to really make their night pop. Then, as so often tragically happens in these sort of doomed romances, an altercation ensues. At the very end of the video clip is a phrase I plan to use as my new ring-tone: "Ooooh, Dadi, you're keeling me".

Video allegedly shows Pierce County deputy stabbing a man in attack that led to assault charge | KIRO-TV - kiro7.com

KIRO 7 also obtained surveillance video of the parking lot confrontation that investigators said led to the stabbing. Carpenter met the alleged victim and another man at a bar in Tacoma, according ...

www.kiro7.com

Now, if I may be serious for a moment, this Cornholin' Crusader is a 20-year SWAT guru, a state-certified Master Instructor of Defensive Tactics, and runs a court-certified use-of-force consulting company. Do you find any evidence of this expertise in the video? After being disarmed (off-camera), he lethargically walks after the fella, and then gets shoved flat on his back with a stiff-arm that Jim Brown would be proud of. He continues his slow-motion scrapping by hanging outside the car window with no sign of physical effort displayed at all. Drunk on his ass, or completely incapacitated by the turgid tumescence of his meat-seeking man-missile, or both?

YOU make the call!

Innyhoo, this article provides more background, both on the incident, and on the cop himself.

‘Expert’ on use of force by police charged in stabbing | Whidbey News-Times

A use-of-force expert hired by the city of Langley to evaluate the action of the former police chief was charged with first-degree assault this week for allegedly stabbing and slashing another man with a knife outside of a marijuana store in October, according to court documents.

www.whidbeynewstimes.com

For this one, you'd better sign me as:

-Juan Stabone

Juan Stabone, thank you so much for this uplifting gifting.

I have smiled more and for less but rarely.

Now to the tactical deduction you requested.

Note the use of the icepick grip. This is normally used in two cases:

-Spontaneous murders by crazed individuals

-Sentry removal

Well, Maestro Stabone, I would say that—noting the obvious love interest and the lack of a threat posed by the seated sex slave, that this knife grip was deployed for a version of sentry removal, possibly to remove the trousers or G-string of the boy toy.

The lack of physicality on the part of the pork trainer bespeaks the middle aged turd burglar, with shoulders not overshadowing hips sufficiently to bring him out of bonobo to chimp sexuality.

As for biomechanics, a man of below average physicality, such as myself, can fight while incredibly drunk, not in top form, but yet maintain basic knee bend and foot flexion to prevent being shoved flat on his back. Mind you, I was so drunk in the 2014 Drunken Agon that I could not stand up, and was still drunk 12 hours later without additional drinks and yet had instinctive balance from years of contact training, which leads me to deduct that this guy was never a threat without a weapon in hand.

Perhaps, just like martial arts masters are peddling bullshit, SWAT androcologists do the same thing?

Sir, as I will soon be wandering about the Upper Left Coast, it might be time for me to finally fulfill my dream of training police officers and cadets in stick and knife fighting—and I will do this gratis, not a greedy bone in my body, for the sheer pleasure of the experience. This faɡɡot does not know what he is missing. Lining up a room full of cops for stick sparring—that would be far better than the best sex, let alone drunken turd burgling.