Written by Justin W. R. Justice for that Cryptocrackerologist James LaFond

As I was vacationing in Ocean City, Maryland, my spies among the Body Mediocritic sent me texts concerning Trump calling Baltimore, Maryland a dump, specifically rat-infested. This was in response to Elijah Cummings, perennial West Baltimore senator, defending illegal immigration by Latinos at the U.S. Border. I was then treated to Baltimore news casts at the Ocean City condo my family rented and was illuminated as to the full spectrum of denial insanity:

-Five Baltimore men were shot and killed the first day of the twitter war between the Trump and the Bump.

-Cummings’ West Baltimore office was broken into.

-A Baltimore sports caster decries Trump even as he lionizes “Baltimore Swag,” defined by the Ray Lewis and Ed Reed led best defense of the 2000s in the NFL, embodied in a swaggering, shoulder-rolled attitude of threatening menace considered the City’s main cultural export.

-No mention of the fact that round about 1999, the Baltimore City Health Department closed its Rat Eradication Program in the wake of a battle under the Edison Highway Bridge in which all but one of the two dozen employees were routed by a pack of grain-fed rats. This program has ever after been staffed by only 2 men.

-As surrounding Baltimore County imports criminals from the City by Federal court order into new subsidized housing, halfway through the second year of a five-year initiative, shootings in the Essex Precinct of Baltimore County are up from 9 in all of 2018 to 17 in the first seven months of 2019.

-Writer of the HBO series The Wire, a certain Simon, spoke up for Cummings despite him having created the venerable caricature of the West Baltimore senator in the fictional person of Clay Davis, who forever said the word, “Shieeeid” instead of “shit.”

-The Baltimore Police Commissioner did a public service announcement pledging to devote more resources to visitor safety—and then ruined the PR stunt with a caution, that tourists should remain aware while checking out local attractions.

-On 8/1 four men were removed from Orioles’ Park at Camden Yards for unfurling a Make America Great Again banner.

-On 8/2 the same stadium was at best half full, possibly with as few as a quarter of the seats filled. Peter Angelos, the owner, has actually given up paying for pitchers and is recruiting from minor league teams, apparently not confident that enough Orioles fans, the majority of which live outside of Baltimore, will brave Bodymore Murderland to see their team in person.

-A four-year old boy was just found in a dumpster in the Essex Precinct of Baltimore County, after being reported missing in the city.

Now to Cummings the traitor.

Look, his people know that he is taking drug money and PAC money and banking money to sell them out as he lives in a posh enclave and lords it over the lesser half of his district.

But did they know:

-The Baltimore Purge Battalion was only fought to a standstill by the BPD and contained by the Maryland National Guard due to the use of the Mondawmin Shoppers supermarket as an observation post, command post and rally point. This was only possible because 12 years earlier the senator took retail food kickback money to commit the BPD to defending this store. The Old Boy is an Uncle Tom par excellence!

-Furthermore, and possibly stemming from his light skin color, he is not only a white-over-black race traitor on the above count, but is also shamelessly working the brown-over-black card as well, and has been working hard to ship Salvadoran drug gang members from the Mexican border to Baltimore, with violent crime involving Hispanics in Baltimore having increased 5- to 10-fold in the last year!

The man is a snake-in-the-grass I tell you—come to turn about and bite his own folks in the ass!

"Shieeeid!"

-Justin W. R. Justice reporting

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