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‘When a Detective Called’
Mister Blue Tries to Buy a Gun for Home Protection
© 2019 James LaFond
DEC/12/19
So, you know how the gun shop kept my three-hundred dollars when I didn’t pass my background check.
Well, I thought that was all about Crazy Woman with her bullshit assault charge and bullshit peace order.
Now you can use this for your writing because this is some messed-up stuff and people need to know how it is. You know, I’m a brown dude living in a white town and I’m like the only guy without a gun, so I want one. Never broke the law, never even been in a fight, just want to be able to protect myself.
So, when this detective called about my application to purchase a firearm he said, “You know what this is about?”
I’m like, “Yeah, it’s about my X and this bullshit charge that I assaulted her which was determined to be false in court.”
He’s like, “Na, its about that armed robbery charge from two years back.”
I’m like, “I don’t think so. I’ve never been arrested or charged for anything other than my crazy X getting me barred from my apartment so she could steal all my stuff and sell it on ebay.”
This detective was like, “You know it’s a felony for you to apply for a firearms permit as a felon, right?”
So, back and forth we go, him researching my actual picture, my work history, the divorce and all the attendant bullshit and finally, he’s like, “Yeah, this ain’t about the divorce and you’re not the dude who pulled the armed robbery. Let me get back to you.”
He gets back to me the next day and check this out: he’s like, “Yeah, Mister Blue, your middle brother committed numerous felonies under your name and your youngest brother’s name. Now, it’s going to take some time to get this cleaned up, but we will fix it. Have you seen your middle brother?”
I’m like, “Yeah, last Christmas when he went after my youngest brother with a bat because he asked him not to swear in front of his children.”
So, there you go. My brother could have done this shit even if we had not shared the same last name. He just does his stupid, ‘I wanna be a gangster’ shit without an Identification and then claims to be me or my other brother. Anyone could do this to any of us and then when we go file for a firearm’s permit we could be getting jacked up by the cops. For instance, if I didn’t have a phone or just declined to answer calls from unknown numbers, I might have had this conversation in handcuffs.
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Ruben Chandler     Dec 12, 2019

if I didn’t have a phone or just declined to answer calls from unknown numbers, I might have had this conversation in handcuffs.

No shit. That's just rude and I mean something beyond manners. That really bits. You kept your wits about you though and that's cool. Others would have gotten off that phone and fled the state. Good on you man.
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