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▶  More from Fiction Ghost Snatcher
Mainline Watson
Ghost Snatcher #5
Awards: Distinguished Service Star [3 awards, Detroit, Chicago and Flint], Civic Engineering Star from FEMA for the Siege of Staten Island, Manhattan Service Star for Economic Justice, Gender Reassignment of Repressed Persons Award for Negotiating the Conversion of Mass Christian Denominations [3 “Rock Star” awards], Purple Heart [8 awards for 4 injuries, which wounded each gender quality separately and uniquely]
Mainline Watson is the one Person on this crew who truly deserves the moniker hero, in my humble opinion, for bloodlessly negotiating racial justice, gender reassignment, sexual orientation and reparation demographics at many of the Homeland’s white hotspots. It is my pleasure to be assigned to serve with a Person who is a legend in Its own time, being the highest-ranking instructor in sub-lethal munitions and also the most highly decorated voluntary hermaphrodite to serve in combat.
I must, however, respectfully submit, that some of Mainline’s double-gender psychic injuries have seemingly prepared him to fall prey to the negative influence of the other crew members, who have successfully baited him over his sub-lethal weaponry and negotiating roles that he has taken to carrying a machete and a Colt 1911 .45 APC handgun and chanting songs with Oldschool and Acetylene about “squashing cockroaches [Mexicans],” “baking bread pudding [Asians, northeastern I think],” and the unsavory ambition to “spike a k—" well, I cannot with a clear conscience repeat the slur about our most victimized race. Before I submit my operational prologue for debriefing at the end of Op—
“Oh, My Earth! No! Desist, desist—they are not cockroaches, they are economic refugees! Mainline, Mainline—remember the Million Person March, how we hugged and—no!”
Video Array
Acetylene Jackson is seen piloting the detached four-wheeler towards a group of Mexican women and children as Mainline Watson, once the peace-making face of post political, Corporate America, brings his sublethal bean bag ammunition to bear on the posteriors of the running Latinas…
In the sympathetic recorder of Principle [1] Warrant Officer Bersten Dessilanes, is preserved for Just Posterity, the cackling baritone voice of Oldschool Johnson, “Now dat shit is justice! When dey done ate anotha crate a tortillas dey all gonna look like beanbags anyhow! Shoot em up, Short Dick—show us you more man den bitch!”
A reassignment officer in pink falls in agony shielding a young Nun from fire, the scattering figures of the refugees lost in a squall of dust as Acetylenes Jackson, raising his illegal “Indian” bow high in his left hand, drives in a semi-circle around the stampeding humans as Mainline Watson, helmeted in blue within his polychrome bubble, traverses the turret of his beanbag cannon to fire into a gaggle of scrambling children…
Ahead the array shows the open road past Loveland Node, on the way to Red Rock Canyon, the Ghost Catcher rumbling onward to long awaited Justice and storied infamy.

-1. Dessalines is not the Principal but the Principle Warrant Officer, as the Justice Service is a minimally hierarchical organization focused on Principle.
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