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Rating Fights
From Adam’s Bear Pit Birthday Bash in the Old Dominion: Part 2
For this version, having been a biomechanical Debbie downer on the first one, I’m going to be rating the fights according to, “Dark Age aesthetics” meaning how much I think “The Khan would have enjoyed this with live blades,”
#1: He cut off her hands?! But what use would she be then? Put her scalp on my tent pole!
#2: Buy that stout Frank, give him a great sword and put him in the doorway to my seraglio which he is to bar against my senior wife at all costs! That good looking fellow he maimed—sell him to the Grand Vizier…
#3: Yes, cut off his hands and preserve the color of that nice blue jacket.
#4: Bind, grapple and bring Serena to my seraglio—do not touch her with your dastard blade you brutish Frank!
#5: Ah, the Dandy in Black—I know him of old—cut off his leg below the knee! Yes, and bring Serena to be raped in his smart black jacket.
#6: [7:06] I told them to bring me Richard a long time hence. Sabers at last! Where is Serena? Then bring her here!
#7: My stout Frank has been skewered. Drats, I should have warned him to pass on his leg strokes. Can you get me another? Wide enough to prevent the Mother Dowager from entering the seraglio without hurting her and causing a feud with her bloodthirsty brother?
#8: I’m in love. Tell the Frank he must disarm or grapple her and carry her hence. Serena who? Take her away! Do not ruin the view, dastard Frank, circle away! Ugh, stop, stop. One hand and she’ll still do. Do not let this brute cut off the other!
#9: I quite like the using of children as goblins. Get me some, with the bright sun-colored hair. I want them to attack me at meals to prevent me getting too fat…
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