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Surfing the Pandemic
Possibly Being Stoned in the Belly of the Beast
My family and some friends do not want me to come back east to the font of health from the plague-ridden West on my pale iron horse. Partially this is because they are afeared by the media panic that I will infect them, even though I am the most fastidious and cleanly person any of them know. My mother is also afraid that I will be arrested for breaking Governor Hogan's laws prohibiting travel into Maryland.
Some how, after breaking Pennsylvania and Alleghany County laws when I step off of Amtrak property in Pittsburg, I have to find a quarantine tent to stay in for 2 weeks before seeing an unsuited person and then, I have to do the same thing when I enter Maryland, taking a month to move a yard across the state line as a tolerated entity.
As I travel east on a federal-sanctioned strip of rails 100 feet wide, every time I seek my former haunts in those various states I will be breaking numerous crisis ordinances. I sincerely hope I get stoned by a robed tribe of ancient Levantine social justice warriors so I have a good story.
I now start traveling east by stages, into the sickening soul-crushing bowels of the Satanic Beast known as The East.
I have friends and fighters who still want to associate with me. My family might fear my boot tread outside their pure door, but Oliver, my Jamaican boxer and a couple other fast friends have extended the hand of welcome, saying I will always have a place to lay my head.
Darling Lady Lockhart has sent me a package of camo bandanas, so that I will be able to board the train in my duster and train robber mask in sinister style, with a polypropylene pimp cane instead of a Colt .45.
My balance is good enough so I don't have to touch anything while walking on the train. I plan on rereading and annotating Thucydides on the trip and noting the various levels of hate, ostracism, paranoia and medieval mindset among the fear-stricken cattle of this crippled country for my travel writing.
Pandemic permitting, I should be back online on April 22.
In the meantime thank you for your support at the eventide of our withering kind.
-James, 11:38 A.M., 4/14/2020, Portland, Oregon

I will be headed to 6666 Caucasian Avenue in Northeast Baltimore, which is currently the most violent precinct in Harm City for the first time in hoodrat history. I will be honored to report from the front lines—yo. The Boyz have 81 kills on the year, on track for a 6th year of greatness.
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Add Comment
NCApril 20, 2020 3:30 AM UTC

I googled mapped:6666 Caucasian Avenue in Northeast Baltimore

Below is what populated!

https://www.google.com/maps/search/6666+Caucasian+Avenue+in+Northeast+Baltimore/@39.3407456,-76.5849747,17z/data=!3m1!4b1
responds:April 21, 2020 3:27 PM UTC

Thank you!
DaleApril 19, 2020 7:44 PM UTC

Nice sharing the lounge car with you...at a safe social distance of course. Good luck on your trip home, and stay safe out there.

Dale
responds:April 21, 2020 3:27 PM UTC

Dale the Human!

You have two chapters in the book I finished on the train.

Take care, Sir.
MannyApril 14, 2020 11:55 PM UTC

Yo boys will be racking 88 in a week once the supply chain breaks. Get yo popcorns now.
responds:April 21, 2020 3:29 PM UTC

If only we could give them old Wehrmacht .88 flak guns!