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‘The Baddest Indians?’
A Man Question from Steevo Bristol
© 2016 James LaFond
MAR/18/16
“Okay, Dude, I’m not a bleeding heart quarter-breed Indian like Zach who thinks all Indians were good. Now, what about the bad Indians, I mean the toughest, best fighters, but also the meanest nastiest Indians. Who were they?”
-Steevo
Okay Steevo, off the top of my head, I will rate the tribes most feared by their enemies in one to one situations. In other words, everyone feared the Sioux, Five Nations, Aztecs, Comanche, etc. because they were successful, confederated, tough tribes who made big alliances and had vassal tribes. I take you question as, if you were three white dudes or three Comanche, and you had to scrap it out with three enemy Indians in a dry gulch, what tribe would you not want them to be from? Basically, you want to know who the Navy SEALs of Indian America were.
Below will be two scores, the first is nastiness [do they eat you, torture you, etc]. The second is combat reputation.
So, from south to north, let’s introduce the players, then rank them.
Island Caribs: 8/6
These island conquerors from South America ate conquistadors on sight and leant their infamous name to the entire Caribbean Sea, and to the word Cannibal. Today’s mainland Caribs are known for having cute girls and pain-tolerant men.
Aztecs: 10/2
Aztecs sucked in combat, but if they captured you, look out son! They were civilized and practiced ineffective ritual warfare but made up for it through ruthless psychological domination.
Apaches: 7/10
These mountain desert dwellers terrorized the Navaho, Mexicans and Americans, and were the last Indians to surrender. Geronimo, their last free chief, held off 5,000 U.S. soldiers with three dudes and some women and children, and was only brought to bay by other Apache warriors. He was such a badass that American airborne soldiers of WWII screamed, “Geronimo” when they jumped. They were not screaming “Washington” or “Grant.” The Apache resisted white conquest for 300 years.
Manoag: 6/10
These little men terrorized whites and Indians in the Carolinas for a hundred years or more and mysteriously disappeared. They dealt in white and red slaves, and fought as mercenaries in Indian versus Indian wars.
Delaware: 9/10
These big bruisers lived as a post-apocalyptic warrior cult for over a hundred years after the whites first got them hooked on booze and swindled them out of their land. In 1756 they were the bad guys in the French and Indian War, and sixty years later, a pair of these dudes worked as a bodyguard for a Canadian expedition, and the Indians of the Oregon/Washington area knew who they were and were very afraid of them! The Delaware were renowned, murderous fiends for three thousand miles and 200 years, serving as white scouts all over the continent.
Shawnee: 5/10
This tribe inter-bed with whites and adopted whites more than most and produced the greatest war leaders of the entire European conquest, gaining the largest single victory against General “ I should have brought more hookers because they fight better than my men” Sinclair.
Mohawks: 9/9
Another perennial white ally, these cannibal warriors were basically the outlaw bikers of their day, and constituted one of the five and later six nations of the Iroquois Council. Not to be confused with the Mahicans who they crushed in 1680, four years after wiping out King Phillip’s tribe for the Puritans.
Mohegens/Monhegins: 8/8
Another cannibalistic New England warrior tribe who sided with the whites against other Indians with terrible regularity. These were a branch of the Peqoud tribe for whom Herman Melville named his “Cannibal of a craft” in Moby Dick.
Sacred Ravens/Crow: 3/10
Surrounded by enemy tribes, the Crow usually defeated their more numerous enemies, and also allied with the whites, almost succumbing to the resultant small pox epidemic that killed nine out of ten of them. Even so, these foes of the most infamous of the mountain men, Liver-Eating Johnson, prevailed in a battle against four enemy tribes.
Black Feet: 8/9
The sworn enemy of the Crows and of Liver-Eating Johnson, the Black Feet loved killing whitey! These warriors were the most feared by the Mountain Men and were defeated by disease, not in combat.
Cheyenne Dog Soldiers: 4/10
These fanatical combat specialists of the Cheyenne Nation were the guys you didn’t want to mix it up with at close quarters on the Great Plains.
Baddest Indian Standings
11. Aztecs: 10/2 =12
10. Sacred Ravens/Crow: 3/10 = 13
9. Dog Soldiers: 4/10 = 14
8. Shawnee: 5/10 = 15
7. Island Caribs: 8/6 = 16
6. Mohegens/Monhegins: 8/8 =16
5. Manoag: 6/10 = 16
4. Apaches: 7/10 = 17
3. Black Feet: 8/9 = 17
2. Mohawks: 9/9 =18
1. Delaware: 9/10 = 19
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Ishmael     Mar 21, 2016

James, I will rate the tribes I have read most about, knowing very little of eastern tribes. Taking into account Terrain, Climate, Food sources, Enemies. The Apaches were the best trackers, also very handy with knifes, Geronimo being run down by his own warriors, very difficult terrain if you have hunted in the south west, which I personally have. Scarcity of water, hot in summer, cold, and windy in winter, as a hunter, more game on the Great Plains and Rocky Mountains, Apaches had to raid, they were the least agrarian of the southwestern tribes. They had to deal with Mexicans, read about Geronimos hatred for them, The Army, Al Sieber, who was in charge of the scouts in pursuing, and tracking the renegades. The Comanches ran them off the plains, in my opinion, because of superior numbers of warriors, plus they were better fed, And better mounted, the Comanche controlled the largest area of the southern buffalo herd. Baddest Indian, for toughness I would go with a Apache.
deuce     Mar 22, 2016

Having 1/16 Apache blood, I won't argue with Ishmael much. However, I just don't see how the Comanche can be counted out. They helped destabilize both the Mexican and American empires. Huns with better fashion-sense. Check out DeLay's WAR OF A THOUSAND DESERTS.

Back in the mists of time, the Comanche sprang from the same root as the Aztecs and Utes. Bloodlust is in the blood.
James     Mar 24, 2016

1/16th? The French in Haiti would have had a classification for that.

Steevo's question was slanting away from military effectiveness toward—who do I least want to meat in a dark alley. The Comanche, to me, were a huge military and political success story compared to other tribes.

Was the proto tribe you speak of named "Sons of the Dog?"

I can tell you that the reenactor from the Comanche tribe on Deadliest Warrior, showed incredible skill with the horse and lance.
Ishmael     Mar 22, 2016

Comanche would be my pick for #2, best light calvary on the plains according to what I have read, brutal fighters, one of the first tribes to obtain horses, almost wiped out the Apache, related to the Shoshone, moved in from the north, Shoshone and Comanche same language I think. Quanah Parker, great leader, read Empire of the Moon. When I read about the Comanche history glad I was not a Texas Ranger or Jediah Smith. Ishmael.
deuce     Mar 24, 2016

The Uto-Aztecan language family (which includes the Comanche):

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uto-Aztecan_languages

From Idaho to El Salvador.
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