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Big, Sweaty Bitches
The Confrontation Escalation Guide for the Real Black Man
Most of the men I write for are of the pale faced variety. I doubt if there’s more than ten black fellas that read my site. But, half of the fellas that I coach are melanin-rich individuals, and they have a specific escalation danger. Most white guys have to worry about predation in vastly greater proportions than confrontation. On the other hand, athletic, young black men, while being at just as high a risk of predatory attack as his white counterpart, he is many times more likely to be challenged to a fight than a white man. This challenge will come from another black man. This other black man will be carrying emasculation baggage so heavy, that he can’t be helped. He will eventually be killed by one of his own or taken out by law enforcement. In the meantime, he will constantly lash out at confident black guys who have their act together. He won’t pick on the nerds or the geeks, because there’s no status to be gained. This man has always suffered severe, emasculating child abuse at the hands of his mother and is literally trying to build a masculine self-image at the expense of others. In behavioral terms, this guy is a bitch, because he was bitch raised. This does not necessarily mean that he’s not a threat. He could be a very dangerous person.
The goals of the big, sweaty bitch build on one another. He feeds off of each, getting more emotional nourishment with each escalation.
Goal #1 is to punk you out, to get you to back down. This is basic primate posture and submit behavior. It’s what is seen among gorilla males, as opposed to chimpanzees who are more murderous.
Goal #2 is to beat you down. If he can get you to behave accordingly, then any physical success he has by making you submit in a physical confrontation will pump him up more than simply punking you out. The guy that’s aiming for this is primarily a legal danger to you. As soon as you turn the tables on him and beat him down, his litigious, bitch-raised upbringing will kick in, and he’ll take legal action.
Goal #3 is to stomp you out or stab you. This is often a group goal with the big, sweaty bitch acting as the flash point for a mob attack on you. It is important for you to be able to decide if the surrounding people are observers waiting to see this guy try to implement #1 or #2, or if they are with him. If they are with him, then you’re in a lethal situation.
Below are the verbal cues used by the big, sweaty bitch to get you to “act black.” In many workplace and social settings, emasculated black men will go after a real black man who has his act together on an emotional level, trying to get him to act out in a way that will embarrass him in front of the larger society, a white boss, for instance. In a non-work place situation, he’s working to compromise you in the eyes of the police. This system is hundreds of years old in the United States. It is a way in which people discontented by their social status but unwilling to advance drag those inclined to advance back down, like crabs in a basket do if one tries to climb out. This system of invalidation is based on verbal cues listed below with the correlating meaning, from least to most offensive.
1. Nigga is a term that means you are no better than I am and can have friendly and unfriendly applications; as soon as it is uttered, determine where it is going and act before it gets there.
2. My Nigga is a term of endearment that indicates that this person either wants your guard down, because you’re about the be the subject of a predatory attack, or he really has no bad intentions and wants to make that clear. There’s a lot of play here.
3. Nigger is a term designed to offend and place you beneath the offender. This is assault, plain and simple. The person saying this obviously wants you to attack him and also deserves to be attacked. If you can find a way to measure him out and then put him down, that’s fine, but don’t verbally escalate—don’t say a damned thing.
4. Bitch is a blatant insult that declares you not to be a man if you do not engage in confrontation. You can usually walk away from this. If you don’t want to walk away, I suggest you act like a bitch, but quietly, seeming to submit with your body language and then hitting him in the jaw while he runs his mouth.
5. Bitch-Ass Nigga is equivalent to bitch, act accordingly. This guy’s just more articulate.
6. Bitch Nigger indicates that this dude really wants to fight or is utterly convinced that you’re going to back down. How you handle this is really dependent on the situation. If this is a stomp out situation, you need to act decisively when this term comes out. This has often been used as a group attack cue.
7. Niggar is used by some black men when they are so enraged and have so much hatred for the person they are addressing that they are having difficulty not attacking. They are one the verge of an adrenaline dump. If you can avoid verbal engagement and physical contact for two minutes after this word is used, they’ll melt down.
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