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Bard of the Khan
Jeremy Bentham Gives Marching Orders for the Paleface Horde

"Indeed Mr. Rapier, may I welcome you to the adjunct faculty of the Department of Whiteness Studies for the JL Institute of Crackpot Philosophy."

"Being White is out of sight. Walk with your buttocks extremely tight."

-Jeremy Bentham

Jeremy, the Khan is into a bottle of rye-based nectar, famously distilled by your mountain-skulking palefaces of the lower orders, and, catching this greeting, thought it would be an ideal marching song for paleface foot soldiers in urban battle zones.

Indeed, what is good in life but being white and uptight?

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Jeremy BenthamJanuary 10, 2017 3:08 AM UTC

Oh mighty and illustrious Kahn! It fills us with joy that you are pleased. Full disclosure: that line comes to us from the "White Guy Rap":

"We're extremely white- that's right- we walk with our buttocks extremely tight."

This was sung in a skit on Saturday Night Live performed by Jim Belushi and Pamela Sue Martin. Unfortunately those spoil sports at NBC Universal have blocked access to the YouTube video of that skit. I found it to be uproariously funny when I first saw it live circa 1985, since at the time blacks would commonly accuse whites of "walking with a tight ass". Ok, and that's bad...why? It was one of those black things we white folks just didn't get. But I guess it was intended to poke fun at us and hurt our feelings. White Liberals are likewise prone to try to make you feel guilty and self-conscious for strange and irrelevant reasons. For example I have often been "denounced" for looking "Aryan". When I first entered the Army someone told me I looked like I "belonged on an SS recruiting poster". I must imagine that remark was intended to offend me and make me feel self-conscious. Instead I thanked the individual for the compliment. After all, no one ever accused the SS of being poor soldiers, eh? So likewise white folks in general need to stop feeling guilty about being white. We whites need to stop heeding all these spurious attempts to make us feel guilty about dumb and untrue stuff. So stand tall and proud White guy; walk with your buttocks held tight. Extremely tight!

We live to serve oh mighty Khan. Not only must you succeed, but all others must fail!
responds:January 10, 2017 1:14 PM UTC

That is the harsh spirit of bottled night that must be unleashed among the enemy, Jeremy!

The Khan will surely approve as soon as he sobers up.