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'Smoke Weed'
A Man Question from Shep: Footwork? Shield use? Choice of Weapon?

"This calls for the LaFond treatment:"


Okay, Shep, the extension weapons were ineffective. The shield use was a waste of a good weapon. There was no cohesion. Weapon choices most not be recognized as weapons by cops and thus suck, so use the shield as a weapon.

What is needed if you are a White Nationalist Meathead and want to engage in this stupidity?

What you need is to abide the rule of three.

Your formation should be a wedge.

Your only weapon should be a shield, even the shitty shields in use would do. Fit the man on the right flank with a shield on his right arm.

Wear something on your shaven head.

Wear leather jackets in case of knives.

Both flankers keep the empty hand on the point man's back.

The point man—and all three—should be wearing batting gloves. The point man should use his empty hand to rip off enemy head pieces and spear eyes. He should have legitimate boxing skills.

If there is a fourth man [and there should be] he takes the rear position and guards the backs of each. Arm him with batting gloves and a loose jacket to neutralize knives. Give him a belly pack full of soda cans [Coke or Pepsi] to throw at enemy faces when they are one pace from his point man. Lacrosse balls and baseballs are better, but can be reused be the foe. Soda cans will detonate.

The shield is the best weapon in hand even if knives are present. Keep the flat of the shield pinned to your forearm and punch with the forward edge and backhand [this extends your reach to John Jones proportions] with the belly edge, aiming for jaw and teeth. Downward cleaves to the collarbone would be nice.

Stay together with step and drag footwork, stomp on downed foes with a single rake to the face—which, since you are wearing cleats, would suffice—and train to pivot together as a people mower. Stomp on enemy feet, rake their shins with your cleats.

Build your group in four-man teams with a three-man spear point and a support man, who, ideally, is the biggest man and the shot-caller.

Ski caps and safety glasses at the minimum for head pieces.

Minimally for head protection, try the tactical caps like SS Sam bought me, a ball cap with a ballistic plastic shell insert.

Painted fencing masks will do and could be fun. Use the saber mask.

If you are really serious get Bauer hockey helmets, or arrive on motorcycles and just keep your helmet on.

The simpler the footwork the better, since you're amateurs and meatheads besides.

Maintain hand-to-back contact with your lead man.

Step and drag and pivot and countermarch are all that is needed for footwork.

Don't go to the side of the head with a shield edge or they may die.

Break jaws and knockout teeth.

Oh yes, wear a mouthpiece, except for the fourth man, who needs to verbalize commands—and don't smoke weed!

What a nation of bloody cunts this is.

PS: Oh yes, a nerd with a drone, operating from the sideline would be nice, perhaps to crash into the face of some screeching Antifa witch...

"This calls for the LaFond treatment:"


Twerps, Goons and Meatshields: The Basics of Full Contact Stick-Fighting

Add Comment
ShepMarch 9, 2017 4:01 PM UTC

Looks like the Alt-Knight had a wingman, but his sidekick is more into Sambo or Greco:
MannyMarch 7, 2017 7:20 PM UTC

Thanks James. This shield thing is intriguing me. Found a interesting you tube on shield and ancient weapons. Lindybeige is the channel.

The brave American in this video is being called Based Stickman. Pretty funny. You should've claimed that first.

His use of two straps on the shield is a constructive criticism. Seems the ancients used one handle in the middle to punch, reach, etc. two straps limits reach and versatility of use apparently.

Under what circumstances and what fighters in wedge use buckler or scutum?
responds:March 8, 2017 8:35 AM UTC

You enthusiasm for the shield is refreshing, Manny.

The best two-point shield grip is on the aspis, a strap for the forearm and a grip on the inside of the rim.

As you can see I like the aspis design.

In choosing between a buckler and scutum I like the buckler because the scutum places much pressure in the wrist. For an upright shield like that I like the Zulu pole grip.

the romans used scutm in line and had flankers and advance men with bucklers—the velites.

For any shield with one central grip make certain their is a hollow boss, a place to put the fist that does not press the knuckles against the face of the shield.
ShepMarch 7, 2017 5:09 PM UTC

No stick in the LaFond method? I noticed this guy's stick broke on a commie skull...
responds:March 8, 2017 8:29 AM UTC

I'm thinking in legal terms here. It's very obvious and if you really break a skull its going to be called a weapon. Perhaps that African cattle whip, the shambock I think?
MannyMarch 6, 2017 7:06 PM UTC

Great article. What do you think about 1/2 of plastic 55 gallon barrels as shield? Like a Roman shield. I thought you mentioned this sometimes ago. Ends as bucklers. You could double them up? Thanks James.
responds:March 7, 2017 7:49 AM UTC

One barrel makes four shields, two scutums and two bucklers.

These are incredibly durable and light. They could easily be doubled. There is one problem with both:

Use a large handle on the scutum, not a residential door handle, but something commercial.

The buckler will need padding for the forearm as the material conducts force well against a part pressed against it.
SeanMarch 6, 2017 12:48 PM UTC

Would fencing masks be a liability? I'm thinking of the shock forces to the jaw and neck from a fist or foot.

Also what type of shield would be the best? Small polypropylene shields or larger wood?
responds:March 6, 2017 12:52 PM UTC

Helmets transfer force to the neck from any hit. The fencing mask does this only with the direct chin hit. The fact that it comes off is plus. When I fought with hockey helmets on I was usually stopped easily via neck crank by any good grappler.

It also ahs the identity obscuring bonus that so many Alt Right people are interested in!

Wood shields all suck unless professionally made. The best shield is the Cold Steel polypropylene deal, holds up better against steel than steel, breaks sticks like tooth picks and is a safety and training device! Ideally mister Thompson will produce a large shield. Viking shield are okay. Just make sure the wood is laminated over with something, like a rubber American flag.

Of course, what you really want is the bronze-faced oak aspis that the armorers on The Deadliest Warrior made for their Spartan versus Ninja episode.