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On False Validation Among Men

Some time ago I arranged for sparring at a martial arts school that taught the skill set of stick-fighting for one of my stick-fighters. I was injured and unable to spar. When we walked through the door and saw a small army of muscular studs, beef, beef and leaner beef, I felt certain that he would get plenty of work and also be able to bring some of these full contact MMA guys—but non-contact stick-fighters—into the Bone Bruising Brotherhood of extension weapon knuckle-headery.

Our on-site contact, the guy that trained and sparred with us from this school, had spoken to them and they were supposedly stoked. The school owner, who I have known for many years, was glad to see us, really hoping these muscular, manly men would explore the contact application of the system he teaches.

My man was nervous. All of these guys were bigger and more muscular and he was supposed to spar with them all. I said, "Relax, they are raw, just work with them, make friends, nobody gets hurt."

Taking one look at my fighter, relaxedly unpacking his gear, this crew of studs who had been doing some sparring with our on-site guy, took one look at my man being cool as he prepared to spar and rushed to get their gear and leave—a veritable herd of frightened studliness filing out the door before my man could even get his cup and gloves on.

The same fighter met me at another school at another time to spar with a towering tattooed stud who nervously greeted him. This guy had seen Chuck spar and complimented him. Chuck said, "Nobody gets hurt—we're all on the same learning curve helping each other along."

This did not allay his obvious dread of a stick on flesh encounter, even at tapping velocity. Seeing this, a longtime, non-contact stick spinner, who has never sparred, interceded and bailed his friend out, "Oh, this is for advanced students. I'll let you know when you're ready. Not yet, you don't want to get hurt."

Both the men politely drifted away from Chuck, then he overheard them in the dressing room, one saying, "Wew, brother, thanks for bailing me out of that—I'm not ready for that level of brutality."

You would think these men are speaking of boxing with a savage pro who liked hurting people or wrestling with a dire wolf. But this "brutality" they speak of is simple tactical sparring. Slow pace, "let me know if I tap you too hard," practice with head piece and gloves and elbow pads. This format has been engaged in by people from seven to seventy, 70 pounds to 410 pounds, without serious injury. But, in Sissy America, the thought of contact training with a seasoned fighter is regarded with the dread of a North Korean missile launch, with man after man willing to offer false validation, feminine comfort in manly guise, for the multitude of posing cowards among us who wish to wear manhood on a sleeve, a patch, a badge, a belt, while their so-called "brothers" assist them in the delusion that they are men in spirit as well, when they are not, but rather women writhing within a male structure.

The zero risk feminine culture of supporting inaction and weakness implicit in modern life has spirituality maimed generations of men and turned them into drones. Such false validation of cowardice is advanced in terms of artistic purity and sensible training in most martial arts schools, schools which can only pay their bills if middle-class, single mothers feel like it is an appropriate child day care center.

The rot is nearly complete, even infecting MMA students and turning boxing gyms into nearly empty equipment lockers.

While invalidation of a man by women and seniors in a cultural support position is a corrosive aspect of modernity—eroding masculinity from cradle to grave—the sissy act of validating self-limiting fears of the kind exemplified above is just as dangerous as feminine emasculation, but taken together they conspire to unman most of male-kind.

Twerps, Goons and Meatshields: The Basics of Full Contact Stick-Fighting

Add Comment
SidVicMarch 8, 2017 5:09 PM GMT+4

Shit you need to get Bob on the payroll. Lord knows this site needs a OCD editor.

Hard for me to disparage guys that don't want get hit with clubs. Sticks, my ass! My experience with boxing was short. Took one good hit and had a migraine for 2 weeks. Decided it wasn't for me, heh.

I do have a man question for James, however. Sorry that i am off topic.

I have been curious about the role that rage/anger plays for the serious fighter types. When i was young i literally saw red on three occasions (yes Virginia it is real thing). It felt glorious. Does rage enter into the equation for boxers and MMA fighters during a match? Is anger the enemy, getting them to expend themselves too quickly? I apologize if you have covered this before.
responds:March 9, 2017 9:46 AM GMT+4

Thanks, SidVic, for the input. I'll make your question an article.

Boxing is the nastiest thing you will ever do and I do not try to talk people into it unless they want to fight in MMA.

Take care of that brain, Sir.
BobMarch 7, 2017 11:24 PM GMT+4

Oops, looks like this blog doesn't like HTML codes. My point was purely to point out the typo "ally", which should read "allay", ie. placate, quieten.

Feel free to delete both comments after the typo is fixed. Cheers.
responds:March 8, 2017 10:25 AM GMT+4

Thanks for the help, Bob!
BobMarch 7, 2017 1:20 AM GMT+4

"This did not <strike>ally</strike> <b>allay</b>his obvious dread..."

Good article, thanks.
CEMarch 6, 2017 2:39 PM GMT+4

Getting guys today to train in any physical combat manner at all is not possible. The worst are the ex Marines and army guys that I work with who will only talk about their past exploits but will do nothing now.
Adam SwinderMarch 6, 2017 1:00 PM GMT+4

It just blows my mind when I hear or read about MMA fighters avoiding contact with weapons. If a fat everyman like me can train and compete for 10 years, what's stopping these muscleheads from doing the same? It's really not that big a deal, weapon sparring. It's fun! And the intensity you were offering is the kind that I can do (and have done) with most women, and leave them uninjured and better informed about contact.
responds:March 6, 2017 3:03 PM GMT+4

Of course, Adam, we know it's not the physical fear. These are guys that sweated a lot to gain a skill set that offers status. Remember, that most MMA "fighters" will not spar with just their hands and will not get in the ring with a boxer, even for practice, unless they can kick—and then they refuse a second round.

The weapon fear is all about protecting the ego. The boxing fear is physical and mental. MMA guys will roll all day long with world class BJJ men, but they will not spar with a local boxer unless the rules of engagement permit them to work outside of his skill set. This same fear exists with MMA guys regarding collegiate and Olympic wrestlers. When Team Ground Control was first formed as the Baltimore BJJ Club one of their original members was the assistant wrestling coach at Curly, where you went to school and I coached weapons and boxing. I think his name was Esau and he had been on the Iranian Olympic Team! John Erwin told me that when they used to line up to practice take downs and throws that all these buff BJJ guys would be in line praying, "Oh my God" until they had to step up to this guy and get thrown like a rag doll. Of course, John was nuts so he enjoyed it like riding a roller coaster and was also willing to box with boxers.