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From Wolf Creek to Salt Creek
By Eirik Bloodaxe & James LaFond

At present, over the border from me in South Australia, a court is hearing the trial of the Salt Creek kidnapping. Basically, it reads like the movie Wolf Creek


where a bloke aged 60, kidnapped two female backpackers at the isolated location, sexually assaulted one of them, and smashed the other with a claw hammer four times, then chased the profusely bleeding woman and ran her down in his 4 wheel drive. The girls were saved by local fishermen who used their spades as weapons:

This requires the LaFond treatment.

Interstate and much out of city travel in this country, takes people through isolated desert territory and rough bushland, with an infinity of places that psychos can bury their kill, and they have:

In a jurisdiction which has draconian gun control, generally bans most melee weapons (such as swords in my state of Victoria, possession requiring a club licence), what is the strategy for dealing with the rampaging mutant zombie bikers/Wolf Creek-Mike Taylors, who may spike car tires or attack when you make the inevitable pit stop to open your bowels on the desert sands?

Reader input on weapon selection for this worst-case scenario, much appreciated. Assume that such trips are necessary to be made.


The LaFond Treatment

Eirik, the obvious answers are in the article.

A claw hammer—bikers in the U.S. prefer ball peen hammers which can be said to be used for checking tires—are among the most heavy hitting and handy short range melee weapons.

A spade is an excellent weapon and outranged the hammer. I prefer a coal shovel or, ideally, a military entrenching tool as a battle axe.

I have trained twice now, with the bicycle U-lock, which makes a handy weapon. I will endeavor to film a video of working the bag with it.

A hard wood walking stick or T-cane is very nice weapon used like a katana or Viking sword, depending on its size and your strength.

A crowbar is the most stable, easily retained and devastating tools used as a weapon.

A hay hook or cargo hook [not a meat hook, my Norse friend] make very handy weapons, especially paired with a fishing knife, hunting knife or bowie. Will shoot video in time.

A long drill bit for boring wood—16-18 inches is a wonderful shank. Yes, will video in time.

Bats are a problem. I refer the child's 24 inch 14 ounce aluminum T-ball bat as a one-handed war club.

For a big man like yourself I like a six foot, six pound staff.

In your car or truck keep an axe or hatchet—but of course you do.

Maws, picks, mattocks are good for big men also, and finally, for your neo-Viking sidearm I suggest a flash light 14-16 inches in length with a flared lantern end, taking at least 4 D-Cell batteries.

For developing specific forearm strength and suppleness, use the bag drills shown in the video below. Eirik, as a power lifter you will find this to be a flexibility and fluidity drill. You posses more strength than you need for light weapons. Do not apply your strength, but work on flow and flex timing of the hand at contact. The challenge of training a strong man with impact weapons is to get him to let the weapon glide loosely and then, at the point of impact, flex. Try it with very light weapon, perfect it with mid weight sticks and then you can scale it up to the weapons above and have the impact necessary to shatter walls and machinery, let alone evil twerps. Strong men tend to even stroke pressure and muscular effort through the life of the stroke, thus slowing, wasting and tiring their effort. Once you get that muscle out of the way of the approach segment of the stroke and learn to apply it all at impact, you will make the dastardly twerps in this video shake in their shoes.

Strength and honor!


Twerps, Goons and Meatshields: The Basics of Full Contact Stick-Fighting

Add Comment
ShepMarch 22, 2017 6:53 AM UTC

Liking these driving gloves a lot:
Sam J.March 20, 2017 10:07 AM UTC

"...I prefer a coal shovel..."

I would think a pointed shovel would be better. Hard to grab on to anywhere in the front and pointed would hurt, bad. Like this one.
responds:March 20, 2017 10:09 AM UTC

the coal shovel has a push handle and is shorter, doubling the force than can be applied and making it handier. the pint in a shovel is too much of a edge and causes glancing. The flat faced col shovel is a better chopper.
PRMarch 19, 2017 4:05 PM UTC

What canvas did you guys put over that bag? Did you sew it yourselves? What kind of bag is that?

I doubt many people will mess with that first guy.
responds:March 20, 2017 10:16 AM UTC

That is from ringside, a floor mounted heavy bag. it comes with two more weights which are not necessary for stick, only punching nd kicking.

The canvas was made by a seamstress whose daughter we coached, who also coifed our helmets for steel and repaired our boxing gloves. .

That first guy is Charles. we were training for a fight, which went two rounds.

In the first round I got in on him and set him off his game. then he got in the groove and grabbed my stick while kicking me in the stomach for the disarm. In the second round I lit him up with leg and rib shots while shielding my precious fencing mask with my bare arm, which worked well until he did a double beat, one stroke to the forearm and then sunk low for a tip dump into my spleen which felt like I ate a stick of dynamite and put me down for about 10 seconds.

That was April 2016.

In July 2015 I beat his ass.

In May, 2016, in my last fight, it took Sean approximately 20 minutes to stop me, wrecking the fencing mask, giving me a concussion and paralyzing my shoulder, at a cost of two cracked ribs.

Sean is my #2 guy, which gives you an idea of how good Charles is.