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Happiness is an Attack Helicopter!
By Fred Beare

It seems that if you want to be a real alpha male then you need a helicopter, preferably an attack helicopter. And, it is every man’s wet dream, even if you are so old you only have dry dreams.

First, there was Rodrigo Duterte, president of the Philippines, who has enjoyed throwing drug dealers out of helicopters:

He was not trying to kill them, but was testing Newton’s law of gravitation. It worked. In the alternative, he believed that they would sprout wings and fly. None did.

Now, we have the Bulgarian migrant hunter Dinko Valev, who has brought himself a helicopter gunship, in his never-ending quest to search and capture migrants:

Good old Dinko had previously acquired two military amphibious troop carriers, to terrorize people who may or may not be terrorists, in the thick forests; Dinko believes that all refugees are potential jihadi. ISIS disagrees and has placed a $ 50,000 bounty on his head. Yep, when these guys talk about “head,” you know that somebody is going to lose something, and there will not be an orgasm involved.

Although the article says that Dinko has been given immunity by the Bulgarian government, state prosecutors in Bulgarian city of Yambol are investigating slamming him in jail on a racial hatred complaint, for discriminating against migrants.

Looks like Dinko will have to become non-discriminating, and chase everyone in his troop carrier and attack helicopter.

Postscript: We all have a secret desire to have our own attack helicopter. When I was about three, I asked my father for a helicopter for Christmas. He gave me a toy helicopter. I immediately threw it into the fire, saying, “I want a real one.” And, I got a real smack on the ass.

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