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▶  More from Harm City Guest Authors Ivarr T. Boner
Sex in the Post-Apocalypse
By Ivarr the Boner

With the end of civilization fast approaching, various topics need attention, before we who survive, become wanderers of the wastelands, Mad Max sans hot cars, feminists and leather. One such topic is sex, or the lack of it.

Contrary to politically correct liberal shows such as The Walking Dead, women will not be samurai warriors, sharpshooters, warlords and all of the rest. Their role will be to prepare what food there is, mainly rats and insects, and to open their legs for ritualistic nailing. With no contraception, long after the last condom has perished, they too will largely wear out from overuse, much like a rubber band loses its elasticity, and then disintegrates. Don’t blame me, blame “god.” One would have thought that the divine lesbian creator, according to rad. fems, would treat their side a little better, but I guess every dog has its day.

So, with the dearth of women, what then? One might entertain banging men as one previously did women. I make no moral judgment here, because, like being in prison, desperate times brings forth desperate measures. Anyway, with regard to bumming, those going down this muddy road, may well have to reciprocate, by having their rectums rammed too! Sodomy, then, may not go down too well at this point. Hey! You used my butt, now it’s my turn! No cheating, no lube!

Forrest Griffin (with Erich Krauss), Be Ready When the Shit Goes Down: A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse, (!tbooks, New York, 2011), in an enlightening section (pp. 170-172, “Animalistic Attraction”), raises the option of fucking animals to deal with the shortage of human pussy. He suggests this, only in a humorous vein, but the issue is one worth mentioning. One need only give a moment’s reflection to see its big problem, since “most four-legged creatures will not willingly allow you to simply mount and penetrate them.” (p. 171) It would be difficult to catch such creatures in the first place, as well as dangerous. Further, suitable creatures will be in short supply, being used for food instead of sex. So, scratch bestiality off the list with a claw.

Thus, men are left with the sole option of simply jacking off and wasting previous nutrients such as zinc, or not bothering about the issue much at all, devoting their full concentration to avoiding ending up as dinner in any of the roaming cannibals’ pots:

On Bitches

Add Comment
FatmanjudoApril 18, 2017 8:46 PM GMT+4

This got strange pretty fast.