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Aldo Stinson
An Old Paleface Calls the Author for Advice after a Fight

Aldo is a former employee of mine in his mid-sixties, who once edited a counter culture zine in the 1970s.

Jimmy, I'm sorry to bother you. I know you are busy. But I need some advice and you're the only one I trust—we know we can't trust who we are supposed to trust, so you're my pick.

This morning I was walking past the Hubcap [a bar, now named The Hub] and saw Allen there laying on the wall, a half drunk beer next to him. I told him that he shouldn't do that, that it was disrespectful to the neighborhood. I also told him that I didn't appreciate him stealing Mister Joe's walker. I hate thieves and to steal from an old, handicapped person is dreadful.

That's when it happened.

He called me a thief and I can't tolerate that.

When I was a young man I used to love fighting, hurting people. But I grew out of that.

And there I am, with my thumb hooked in his eye-socket, bouncing his head off the wall. I just used the socket for a handle. No way was I going to get down on top of him and dig it out. Do you realize how bad he stinks?

So, a few bounces of the head elicited an apology.

But I'm worried. What if he calls the police, Jimmy, what should I do?

Should I turn myself in?

I explained to Aldo that he should wait for the police to come to him, because they probably won't, as they deal with Allen all the time and are sick of him. I then told him that if Allen charged him with battery to claim it was a mutual combat. Law Enforcement personnel are ever eager to dismiss an attack as a fight and throw it out of court. I then told him to stress the fact that Allen is 15 years younger than him and that he felt endangered. Realistically, Allen just got drunk and did not report the incident for the very same reason why he was loitering in violation of open container laws on a primary street, that there are so few police on patrol and that those are so demoralized that they are unlikely to act on anything Allen says. In fact, Allen will probably get his ass kicked by the cops too. He's that kind of guy.

White in the Savage Night: A Politically Incorrect Life In Words: 2016

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