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‘Juice Me’
The Tasteless Action-Comedy Freak Show That Predicted Today’s America

Crank 2: High Voltage is a ridiculous story of the last white hard-ass in LA—Jason Statham—who has been revived from a brutal death and fitted with an artificial heart with limited battery life while the Triads harvest his penis to slap it on the guy they gave his heart to…

I laughed my ass off watching this the first time when it came out in 2009, but even more so now, as this movie could not be made today. Predictive as it was of current degeneracy, Crank 2 is politically incorrect, making fun of gays for instance.

One thing that was thrown in for laughs but is really prescient considering how porn has become America’s flag ship industry, is that there is a very poorly acted strike by porn stars in one gratuitous scene.

There is one thing, I would like to say on a personal note, that I am absolutely thrilled that my former girlfriend—who I broke up with over ten times and ended up threatening to rip her head off and “go bowling for negroes” with it at a very chocolate traffic light—finally found her place in the sun. Her best scene is linked below. My favorite scenes, are linked second and third.

I spent a few winter mornings at bus stops threatening to kill dudes because of this chick:

My Macho Fantasy:

The Scene they Would Have to Cut Today:

When Your Job Sucks

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