Click to Subscribe
▶  More from Harm City
My Corner
Mister Mohamed’s Sewer

At the corner of Commerce and Baltimore Streets, Jay, the hero negro, who has numerous times fought off packs of dope fiends who prey upon his sissy white coworkers, spotted local homeless icon, Mister Mohamed, being a bad citizen, a litter bug of Godzilla proportions. Mister Mohamed was shoving more than a half dozen large cardboard box flats into the storm drain slit under the curb.

Jay approached him and said, “What are you doing?”

Mohamed: “Throwing out my trash, coon!”

Jay: “That sewer drains into the bay. You’re polluting! You can’t damage our environment like that!”

Mohamed: “I can do whatever I want. I claimed this muvafuckin’ cona!”

Jay: “That is trash. The trashcan is right next to you. The dumpster is right up the alley.”

Mohamed: “Alley smalley, muvafucka—step the fuck off befo’ I run up side yo head wit a hundred niggas—fuckin’ supa-nigga, shit—I gotz a hundred niggas fo yo ass. Ebry uptown nigga in da worl ‘ill be hoppin’ on yo ass if yo don’ step da fuck off Mohamed’s Cona!”

Jay: “Stop shoving that cardboard in the sewer!”

Mohamed: “There, it all down da hole now, coon—unshove dat shit if ya care!”

Jay: “What is the matter with you?”

Mohamed: “Tell it ta yo White Daddy, coon!”

Jay walks off with the lady he is escorting to her parked car.

Jay: “Can you believe that man, Niki?”

Niki: “That man? How about this city? The whole world and everybody in it has gone nutz! And they’re going to impeach the president for trying to fix it!”

A Bright Shining Lie at Dusk

A Partial Exhumation of the American Dream

Add Comment