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Whooping Aryas
Training to Fight a Tall, Left-Handed Stick Fighter

Sean has invited the heathens to engage his Christian Warriors at the Third Annual Man Weekend in Out-of-Service, Pennsylvania.

Adam, Cory, Brett, Charles, Big Ron and Erique are all either out of the region or have previous commitments. Oliver is a maybe, with a capital M.

It looks like Mescaline Franklyn and I will be representing the Old Gods in this one. Unable to get to the boxing gym due to Oliver being kidnapped by the Morgan State Cheerleading Squad and held in a Virginia Beach motel against his willpower, I’ve been walking 6 miles a day, shadow boxing 20 minutes a night on my break and working the cross post with heavy stick and T-ball bat five days a week for an hour, to get in shape.

I can’t grapple or kick box, but I can stick fight, knife fight, box and do a machete duel with anyone inclined to that. I promised a few people I would not fight any more, so I’m breaking out the William Jefferson Clinton Slick Willy Obfuscation Handbook and declaring any combat I engage in as a demonstration, not to be tallied as part of my record.

In the manner of inexperienced guys who might want to have a go at me I’ll take it easy. But where Sean, the guy who ruined my fencing mask and concussed me last year and looks like a lifeguard recruiting poster beside, I’ve just got to try and break some more of those ribs!

The last time we crossed sticks, I made it an ugly fight for the young man. This summer he was supposed to fight a more skilled and youthful fighter who has been sidelined by injuries.

As Sean’s coach, I want to make this the roughest possible growth experience for him. Since he does such a good job at self coaching, I’ll give him the scouting report on his old trial horse opponent.

I am not doing anything special to train for knife or boxing, will just try and get by at the hand speed deficit by relying on my evil aura.

For the extension weapons, I am training with a bat and sticks to fight a tall lefty, by drilling the following:

Fighting Left Handed

1. Under a roof block to a V-stroke [forehand-backhand pass] will post this mechanical review tomorrow

2. In open guard behind a forehand beat, trying to chop/snipe your hand on the inside

Fighting Right-Handed

1. Behind a backhand beat to a forehand pass

2. Behind a rising a rising backhand to a forehand shift

3. Under an umbrella block to a backhand-forehand X stroke

4. Behind a passing backhand beat to a lunging oblique forehand

Okay, Stud, if you have a question about anything on this list that I am training, send me an email and I’ll post it as an article here under the Meathead Agenda tag. I’m not reading comments anymore unless my editor flags it.

As a final note, while walking down aisle 11 to take my cup of coffee to the register and pay for it, I sprained my right ankle, so I expect to make you come to me and, since it’s your turf, maybe you should.

I will be lodging with Nero the Pict’s Meade Hall before and after the Meet Up and will have a bundle of sticks for the action.

Twerps, Goons and Meatshields: The Basics of Full Contact Stick-Fighting

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