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The House on the Hill
Big Ron's Baltimore

There was a woman on the crest of the hill, a nasty old hag. I think she wanted to fuck me. She came down to the pizza place one day and ordered food and wanted me to drive her home. The way she was always trying to entice me in the house made me suspicious. She always had a cigarette with some nasal voice “Come on in this house.”

She was hideous, real skinny, but had this long, frizzy hair. She was probably a nice-looking hippie chick years ago. But she had let herself go. She was weathered and chain-smoked. There is a lot of lonely people whom want a little bit of company when the pizza guy comes by. But she was definitely a creepy old woman, especially the way she was pushing for me to come into her house.

I told her I couldn’t ride her home for insurance reasons.

We had this one dude that called up and ordered food and he walked in there and said, “I just ordered food. Can I ride with the delivery driver? I don’t have enough money for a cab.”

I said, “Yeah, whatever,” and he gave me a couple dollar tip. He was only up in Parkville. It came down to him either hiring a cab or ordering a sub and he got lucky and rode home with the delivery driver.

Thriving in Bad Places

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