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How to Bring Americans Together
My Land Lord's Big Idea: Friday, 8/4/17


Invasion of the ankle biters!

Yes, Kat the Cat brought fleas into the plantation house, which brought the four of us together on the porch as the land lord bombed our pretentious abode, this old curmudgeon biting his lip at being kept from his desk and the library being closed.

There was the pint-size murderess who had brought the plague into our midst, not showing a bit of remorse in her glinting grey eyes as she spied the attic-dwelling squirrel scampering up the siding.

There was also the violence guy, crackpot caveman, politically to the right of the Posse Comitatus.

And his roommate, the Progressive Lesbian Blues singer, regaling him with tales of being chased through Patterson Park by white boys armed with chains in her youth as the cops told her and the blonde white boy she was with, "the most beautiful man you ever wanted to see," to get back into her own neighborhood.

They then struck a common chord, outdoing each other, one after the other, with police harassment stories.

Then, as their land lord, embarrassed about the entire event and having offered them lunch for their troubles, saw in their unlikely coming together in common hate for the police a silver lining around his Conservative Democratic Cloud of Neo Conservative optimism and suggested, with a wide smile:

"Hey, seeing how this has brought you too together, I have an idea that could unite this country again—an alien invasion. If we get invaded by aliens, we'll come together!"

The crackpot caveman then turned to him and quipped, "The last time this land was invaded by aliens the feuding natives took turns siding with the aliens to wipe out their neighbors."

"Well thank you, there, Mister Jim, for throwing that ice cold bucket of facts on my uplifting fantasy. The next time I need to come down from an uncharacteristically good feeling I know just who to call."

It must be admitted that he had a point about the alien invasion, for the two polar opposite misfits spent another half hour discussing history on the porch.

Happily Ever Under: The History of the Sexes According to Jack and Jill

https://www.amazon.com/Happily-Ever-Under-History-According/dp/1511888881/ref=sr_1_125?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1496341563&sr=1-125&refinements=p_27%3AJames+LaFond

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Sam J.August 6, 2017 11:23 PM UTC

""Well thank you, there, Mister Jim, for throwing that ice cold bucket of facts on my uplifting fantasy. The next time I need to come down from an uncharacteristically good feeling I know just who to call."

I got a good chuckle out of that!