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Nibiru is an Apocalyptic Cock Blocker
By Eirik Bloodaxe
© 2017 James LaFond
AUG/9/17
Oh fuck…just when I thought we might get a quick end to this misery, instead of the long drawn out drawn and quartering that we are all going to get,
we find that Planet X or Nibiru is not going to crash into the Earth tomorrow, because the fucker does not exist:
But there could be a Planet X, way, way, out there:
It is fairly obvious that such a large object, if not seen through telescopes, would be detected by its gravitational effects on planets in the solar system. Physicists are so fuckin’ smart that they can work out these things just by consulting the entrails of chickens.
These freaks coming up with false doomsday scenarios give us legitimate doomsters a bad name, and cause us to needlessly kill our pets:
And why does Microsoft Word leave big gaps in sentences even without a URL in the area? And how did the gap just disappear after writing this? I guess they don’t call ‘em “soft” for nothing.
Either that, or it could be those aliens from the Zeta Reticuli star system, who like to abduct feral people and probe their anuses, because that is what intelligent beings do, after travelling across the universe. I would too, if I were green with eyes on stalks.
Trumpapocalypse Now: The Advent of an American Usurper at the fall of Western Civilization
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