Click to Subscribe
▶  More from Blog Guest Authors To The Point
The Umbrella Fella
By Eirik Bloodaxe

The humble umbrella would be an excellent self defense weapon for cucked jurisdictions like Melbourne and Baltimore, where weapons, including all martial art melee weapons and projectile weapons are severely restricted, but the savages are free to drive around in tanks:

That’s the spirit, toughen up on legal gun owners while gang bangers are free to get illegal guns off of the last boat by the wheelbarrow load.

Anyway, back to the umbrella, a weapon well suited for the mean streets, as Sherlock Holmes, art of bartitsu, a Victorian gentleman’s martial art system well showed; here is the “Wall Street Journal” of all places to tell you that:

Why the fuck do URLs need so many numbers? If it was one less, or two or…would the world end?

No more tangents. Forget about bullet proofing it; it is too expensive and heavy as the French SS found out:

Sure, there is the unbreakable umbrella:

but it would not take much to make a better self defense umbrella. Make the frame solid spring steel, which would not be unduly heavy. It could take a good point, covered in a ferrule. Have a solid head/handle for wacking. Shit, that could be steel too, dark and sinister. The fabric can’t be practically bullet proofed, or stab proofed, but if much thicker, would give protection from acid spray, urine, rocks, used menstrual pads, and other junk that environmentally sensitive Leftoids throw at you. As well, if used as a shield, the structure is held away from the body, so penetration by a shorter blade would not matter, but a sword would still seriously fuck you up. It needs to have a good fast release spring, snapping the cover up, and lots of strong cross-support frames. If it lasted one battle and saved your life, it would easily be worth its slight expense.

And, most importantly, it would travel under the radar… or the umbrella. I will call this weapon the “LaFondian,” in honor of The Man.

Trumpapocalypse Now: The Advent of an American Usurper at the fall of Western Civilization

Own the collected works of John Saxon, Professor X, Eirik Blood Axe, William Rapier and other counter culture critics, on Kindle, via the link below. Amazon:

The Great Train Wreck of the West

Add Comment
LaManoAugust 18, 2017 2:36 PM UTC

The "Un-Brella".

The "Fun-Brella".

"Stingin' in the Rain"

The possibilities are endless. I'd pay a good bit for one like you described ...