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Dear James Lafond
We believe... may qualify to receive help paying for groceries through the Food Supplement Program (FSP). During these tough economic times, we know that every little bit counts. It is important that you call us right away.

We want to help you apply for the Food Supplement Program!

We have been working closely with the Maryland Benefits Center to help you to join the thousands of Marylanders who are already receiving FSP. You may be eligible to receive over $100 a month to use for groceries...

Blah, blah, blah...

Our friendly staff will help you apply.

Please call the Maryland Benefits Center today. It won't take long and could save you hundreds of dollars each year.


Tracey Paliath

Executive Director

Family Investment Administration

[And on the flip side, in case I'm Latino, it's in Spanish.]


And I thought parasites had to go apply for free stuff. It sounds like I won't even have to get off my ass to arrange for some additional flesh to accumulate on my aging frame!

They care!

Tracey, specifically cares about me!

The State of Maryland knows I'm an economic failure and want to alleviate some of my suffering.

I feel better now.

Hey, Big Ron, I'm running low on whiskey. If I sign up I can sell the card for $50 and use it to by a fifth of Knob Greek!

On second thought, I'll have to let this opportunity to debase myself pass.

The Great Train Wreck of the West

Add Comment
LaManoAugust 28, 2017 1:12 PM UTC

Tracey doesn't want to lose her nice plantation-supplied overseer's residence.

If too many slaves get shot or run away, she's out of a life-guaranteed job with health and pension benefits most of us could only dream about.

It's part of her job to entice more slaves into the Quarters. Sounds like she's trying hard!