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Scientific Men’s Lifestyle Advice
Fuck the Prostate with Apple Peel, Grapes and Curry?

By Professor dy/dx

I have a strange sense of déjà vu (/ˌdeɪʒɑː ˈvuː/; French pronunciation: [deʒa vy]) from French, literally "already seen"), when writing this; have I done it before, or do I think that I did it before? Anyway, not to worry, because no one else will. Say, everything is back to normal once I proofed this, after writing all the bullshit, indicating that it is only early Alzheimer’s which is causing my problem, and my perverse attraction for plump female students with blue-dyed hair.

Most of us men here are at that time of life when the prostate causes problems, even on a good day. To put it politely, it is like having a roof with a box gutter; you know at some point it will leak, and your house will be subjected to water damage. Even your prized comic book collection may get ruined, if things turn really bad. It can bury you, which is like the house collapsing, totally. To put it in terms which many will better understand, you will piss badly, dribble, maybe piss blood, and if you are really lucky and get cancer, you will die a horrible death, pissing glass fragments until your screaming end. So, see a fuckin’ doctor and get a check-up, if you are 50 + years. There are unpleasant surprises awaiting you, but you will just have to man-up, bend over and take one for your family: Oh, wait, the finger-up-the-butt-hole may be going – that’s good news for manly dignity and tighter sphincter muscles.

Unlike female cancers, not too many researchers give a fuck about this male illness, but there are, thank the virgin Mary and all the saints, like St James LaFond my patron saint, a few who care about our withering walnuts.

Researchers have found that a combination of micro-nutrients, can knock down many prostate cancers, and may even help with benign prostatic hyperplasia:

“High-throughput screening of a natural compound library was performed to identify the most efficacious combinatorial treatment on prostate cancer. Ursolic acid, curcumin and resveratrol were selected for further analyses and administered in vivo via the diet, either alone or in combination, in a mouse allograft model of prostate cancer. All possible combinations of these natural compounds produced synergistic effects on tumor size and weight, as predicted in the screens. A subsequent untargeted metabolomics and metabolic flux analysis using isotopically labeled glutamine indicated that the compound combinations modulated glutamine metabolism. In addition, ASCT2 levels and STAT3, mTORC1 and AMPK activity were modulated to a greater extent by the combinations compared to the individual compounds. Overall, this approach can be useful for identifying synergistic combinations of natural compounds for chemopreventive and therapeutic interventions.”

Look, here is the peer-reviewed reference, indicating that this blog is hot shit as far as health and life style advice goes:

“Combinatorial treatment with natural compounds in prostate cancer inhibits prostate tumor growth and leads to key modulations of cancer cell metabolism,” A. Lodi (et al.), Precision Oncology, 1, Article number 18 (2017).

The media reports make it sound like all that is needed is to eat apples (ursolic acid), grapes (resveratrol) and curry (curcumin), but when you research this a bit more, you will find that the doses may be too small, and curcumin has a low absorption rate. There are tablet forms of all of these nutrients available, that could be taken with the foods, with many more bioavailable forms of curcumin, and resveratrol equivalent to hundred of glasses of red wine. But, I guess, I would probably rather drink hundreds of glasses of red wine, at least numbing the problems of male ageing.

Who am I kidding? Taking this stuff led to me getting an early morning hard-core hard-on at 4 a.m., but my wife just wanted to sleep. So, after all of this, all I have left is another form of cancer to look forward to.

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