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‘Good Mornin’, Boys’
A Checkered Demon Confederate Story, Sometime Around the Fall of it All

‘“I’ve talked to orphans just like me, all manner of orphans just like me.”


“There are so many outrages I’d like to commit.”

-The Checkered Demon

SCV stands for Sons of Confederate Veterans.

It’s tough being a Confederate these days. One’s marksmanship slips when he can’t shoot Yankees.

There are also the Daughters of Confederate Veterans and they are very serious. Women make better fanatics than men. Women are basically retarded children.

Southerners live right up next to blacks, when a Yankee will separate. Yankees are very bigoted people, but they love to wave that flag. One of my memories from childhood is seeing two black men walking off down the road with shotguns broken down over their shoulder, going hunting. We didn’t say, “Oh, those niggers are armed!”

I knew them. I hunted with them.

I was headed over to Coleville for an SCV meeting, to perform our Confederate rituals, when I stopped off at a convenience store to get something to drink. I was in full uniform, except for my hat.

This entire basketball teams was in there on their way to the game, misbehaving, stealing, whatever they do, generally being noisy.

When I walked in the noise stopped.

They didn’t seem to know what the uniform was, but sensed that it wasn’t something good.

They were very tall.

So I addressed them in my best Yankee accent and said, “Good mornin’, boys,” when none of them had probably been called a boy in their life. From that point ‘til I walked out the door it was silent as a grave.

Who Created These Norms Anyway?

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