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The Tao of Tony Rooster


I arrive in Oklahoma City by bus.  I find the address I'm looking for, close to downtown, an old 5 story brick building, the rent here would have been more than 400$ a month if it wasn't in Oklahoma City.   I'm here to reunite with the first woman I'd ever really loved.  As I walk inside, I'm introduced to her new boyfriend.  After about 3 hours, he's talking tough and I end up breaking his arm.  I really didn't mean to.  Honest. 

  "You fucking asshole!  Why do you always beat up my boyfriends? I never want to see you again!"  

  They leave for the hospital and I do some serious thinking about how I really don't understand women.  

 I'm not worried about cops.  The chump with the broken arm (well, the OTHER chump with the broken arm, that is) was merely a plaything for this daughter of Satan, and I go to sleep confident that, angry as she is, she'll keep him from calling in the long, unbroken arm of the law.  

  I awaken around 4 am to the 2 lovebirds arguing and packing their meager belongings into suitcases.  

"We're going to New York.  The apartment is yours until the first.  I hate you and never want to see you again," she tells me.  Oh, the impetuousness of youth.  (She had rich parents who humored her.)

  I address the boyfriend, "So you're going to New York with a broken arm?  Sounds familiar.   Maybe we ain't so different, you and me."  

  He doesn't even have the nerve to look me in the eye.  

Guess we're different after all.   

  

I hang around the empty apartment until the second, then go looking for work.  

  Work was hard to find. I finally found a day labor spot on the other side of town.  The first morning there was no work. I have nowhere to be, so I end up at a Laundromat in the ghetto, old ratty couches and nobody around.  In fact, the whole town looked empty.  I settled in to the old green couch and looked at the small, ancient TV set.  It was set to the weather channel.  Looks like Oklahoma's gonna get hit with the mother of all tornadoes.  Oh well, glad I'm not.........wait!  I'm IN Oklahoma!  God, Christ, shit, the mother of all storms is coming here, and I got nowhere to be except this laundry mat.  Why does this shit always happen to me?   

  I stayed there in that laundry mat while 36 people lost their lives, 8000 homes were destroyed, and the strongest winds ever recorded on earth touched down. I was long past being scared of death, and expected to either be crushed by debris, or sucked into the damn thing at any time.  It really was quite exhilarating.   After it was done I went out looking to see if I could help anyone who was trapped, or bring help to folks who were hurt.  I looked around, canvassed the area, but there was nothing for me to do.   The next day there was plenty of work at the day labor spot, though.  Very long story short, I earned enough money cleaning up the wreckage to get a bus ticket back to the home of my birth, Seattle.  

Thought the readers might be interested to know that Tony seems to do his very fine writing on a smart phone.

Sent from my iPhone

Happily Ever Under: The History of the Sexes According to Jack and Jill

https://www.amazon.com/Happily-Ever-Under-History-According/dp/1511888881/ref=sr_1_125?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1496341563&sr=1-125&refinements=p_27%3AJames+LaFond

Add Comment
rogerOctober 22, 2017 8:45 PM UTC

Tell Tony that it is Laundromat...
responds:October 22, 2017 8:49 PM UTC

See, Tony, since I'm a shit editor, we have nice readers like Roger to help us with out typos.

I made the change in the text.

Thanks, Roger.