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Doggy Style
Fred Beare Wants Some Advice on What Kind of Guard Dog He Should Employ on His Property

This one tops the finger-swallowing trick a doggy did as I reported on in my now forgotten article: Deep Throat:

Whoaaaha, you can even see an X-ray of the cock inside the dog being digested. Talk about fuckin’ poetic justice.

Ok, we all know that the end is nigh:

I am well up on guns and melee weapons, but never have had much to do with fighting/guard dogs. My property is rural, and a dog would be great security and backup.

But, what breed? It is as hot as shit in summer, and gets cold, but far from freezing, in winter. The land is hilly, rocky and rugged. I understand that such terrain seriously fucks up some fighting/security breed’s hips. As well, I expect that there will be firefights in the future, so I need a dog that does not run with its tail up its ass when it hears a bang or 50.

I am sure that with all the badass talent reading this blog that there will be dog experts out there. I would sincerely appreciate some ideas about what would be a good security dog for my conditions. Thanks for your help.

Fred, I’ve heard that the Rhodesian Ridgeback is a good man-hunter in such climes. Personally, I suggest you crossbreed Irish Wolfhounds with greyhounds and keep a pack on your property with a Doberman for a lapdog. I also like Red Foxx’s idea that a good guard dog would ideally be a Doberman that meows when a housebreaker tests the home defense...

Turd America

Trumpapocalypse Now: The Advent of an American Usurper at the fall of Western Civilization

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Add Comment
PRNovember 19, 2017 11:01 PM UTC

A forgot the most obvious breed: a German Shepherd. They're fantastic guard dogs.
responds:November 20, 2017 5:08 AM UTC

People have a larger fear response to German Shepherds, I think, largely due to their wolfish experience.
PRNovember 19, 2017 11:01 PM UTC

My sister has an English Mastiff/Great Dane mix and it's an excellent guard dog. It has a soft mouth but looks like it will eat you. It's a cream puff with the family. A ridgeback is a good idea, or a Boerboel or a doberman. DO NOT GET A PITBULL.