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Rick the Dick
By Eirik Bloodaxe

Sure, we all know that TV is mind-fucking bullshit, but when one who does not watch it is suddenly exposed to it, it can deliver pc revelations:

Oh fuck, this guy has said all I was going to say, so there goes the article.

Clean sheet of paper, new concept, start again. My son Ivarr likes watching hard-core porn on the internet, and sometimes, a little TV. That TV he watches is for his perverse pleasure of finding errors and plot absurdities. Sometimes he will slow things down and go frame by frame. Aaaaaaaaahh! Look, there is film equipment left in this shot, see in the top corner! And so on, and on.

He calls “The Walking Dead” (AMC), “The Walking Morons” because its plot absurdities rival any bullshit Hollywood has ever produced. Even the critics writing at, of all places, “Forbes”:

have problems with it. Consider last week’s episode, season 8, episode 6, “The King, The Widow and Rick.”

Rick, the leader of the good guys is fighting a war against warlord Negan. Negan is bad because the only thing which he has done, which Rick et al. have not, is taken four juicy wives, which he bonks in a king sized bed. The misogynist; he must have been a Hollywood film producer!

Previously Rick tried to get help from a band of psychos who live in a rubbish dump, the trash people. Their leader is a crazy women, who else? This group betrayed Rick before, she shot him, and he almost died, as usual. So, he thinks that it is a good idea to go back to this group alone, no backup, and apparently without telling his team. Insane lesbo leader is sitting naked in a pile of trash, perhaps having a trash bath, as chooks have dust baths. Join us or die, Rick says. She replies, no. Then instead of shooting Rick in the head and putting this dumb sheep out of his misery, he is stripped and tossed into a shipping container, for the purpose of dramatic tension, and endlessly dragging this shit out. All the plebs on the net are wondering about the meaning of the letter “A” that trash lady wrote on Rick’s tomb. Yes, and that is the high intelligent segment of the youth population. “A’ stands for “ass.”

Ok, what is the point of all of this? Why waste the time of men like you, who would rather be shootin’ and/or rootin’? Simply this: let’s have a contest to see who has the biggest dick!

What is the greatest absurdity in film that you have seen? The “Rick the Dick” episode, is a good start, but you can surely top it. The scene is a completely absurd act, since Rick does not need the trash people, they betrayed him once, and there is absolutely nothing in it for them. All pointless, however you look at it.

This, I contend beats all of the hero drop gun to save girl scenarios, or one “Kill Bill” piece of pussy slicing up an army:

Boy, maybe my entire article is wrong after seeing this again… and this…

Top it if you can, and no doubt you will; I have not finished typing and self-doubt is already poisoning my narrative. I may hit “delete” any moment.

Turd America

Trumpapocalypse Now: The Advent of an American Usurper at the fall of Western Civilization

Own the collected works of John Saxon, Professor X, Eirik Blood Axe, William Rapier and other counter culture critics, on Kindle, via the link below. Amazon:

The Great Train Wreck of the West

Add Comment
Lou GasDecember 1, 2017 5:37 PM UTC

I've been plowing through the Way of the Turkey Kung Fu marathon I recorded over Thanksgiving weekend, and it's probably unfair to throw them all in there because they're so ridiculous in general, but I think the sequels deserve some savagery at the very least.
ShepNovember 30, 2017 4:24 PM UTC

Although she causes major dramas in my pajamas, it has always amused me how Hollywood attempts to portray this anorexic nymphomaniac as an ass-kickin' spy-killer: