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Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks
From a Time When Men Were Still Men and the State Was Already A Joke

James, you might or might not have heard of this bit of history, I thought you might get a kick out of it.

"Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks" is the name of a painting done in the 19th century. The inspiration is taken from a supposed letter written to the Ottoman sultan, after said sultan had written to them demanding that they stop raiding his subjects.

Now, they could have ignored it, or simply said "no" in their reply.

But they didn't.

You know how the kings and emperors and sultans of old used to preface in their announcements that they were "protector of Jerusalem" and "lord of Egypt and Mesopotamia" etc etc?

Well these cossacks went one better. Here's an excerpt:

"Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick."

The crick in our dick I think is the best part.

All the best.


Shorn of Little Sissy Things

A Fighter’s View of Ancient Combat: 2010-2014

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