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Harm City Hoodrats Take On the Poleese

Yesterday, while walking past the 7-11 on Charles Street, two blocks from where she works and 1.5 blocks from where I sometimes caught the 1:00 a.m. bus until December, Niki and her coworker were headed back to work for lunch when two Yomish warriors rolled up in a “Beamer” and said, “Oh, baby, yo be so fine yo needs to get up in hea in dis hea car!”

Her coworker, Josey, then snapped back, “Now all my hopes and dreams are dead!”

As they hurried to the protection of some beat cops and back into the office building, they both counted themselves lucky that they would not be getting off work after dark, when the police were only patrolling Baltimore, Lombard and Pratt for two blocks, in the short grid I have often observed them patrolling.

Lo and take hold, exactly about 12 hours later, when two BPD cruisers turned the corner on their short-loop cruise patrol, two Yomish heroes were leaving the 7-11 on Charles Street with guns drawn. The police engaged the Yomish insurgents in a running gun battle for three blocks north on Charles Street. The gunfight resulted in 60 spent brass casing and no bodies dropped. The police are currently checking Harm City hospitals for gunshot patients, apparently not yet clued in on the role veterinarians play in this process.

Let the World Fend for Itself

Big Ron's Baltimore: A Working Man's View of Urban Blight

Add Comment
Sam J.January 17, 2018 10:01 PM UTC

I was laughing my ass off when I read this. These people are so stupid they rob the only two blocks where there are actually police.
Hugh MannJanuary 17, 2018 7:04 PM UTC

Do vets treat gunshot casualties in Baltimore?
responds:January 18, 2018 8:46 PM UTC

Two: one active and one retired—and I'll deny it all day long.