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Parking in the Hood
Butch and the Cop

With recent attempts to do mob screened carjacking and blatant hotwiring of employee vehicles on the parking lot of the Mondawmin supermarket, the on-duty cop has been parking with Butch and the few other daylight employees who keep their cars a good distance from the crime and mayhem at the storefront, where cabbie versus hacker jousting and looter versus clerk rugby are the sports of the day.

Butch and the cop were walking to their cars, in uniform, at about lunch time on a recent icy day when they noticed, about 50 yards off, two vehicle-mounted Yomish warriors arguing about access to a parking space. Both men drove cars, indicating that they probably were not from the neighborhood, though they might have been and both were insisting on occupying the same parking spot, which was surrounded by a dozen empty spots, with perhaps 180 empty spaces available.

The cop was in the process of laying his jacket across the passenger seat so it wouldn’t interfere with a draw from a seated position, when the argument became heated and one could hear distinct passages of Homeric glory as both claimants to the asphalt space declared their lineage:

“Yo trifling muthafuca, I’ll slap da taste out yo mouth!”

To which the rival Yomish warrior gunned his engine and shouted out of the driver’s side window, “Slap dis, nigger!” and let loose with half a clip of 9mm into this foeman’s chariot and sped from the scene.

The cop called in for backup.

Quitting time isn’t what it used to be.

The Iadomes of Mondawmin was arrested by the blue avatars of Pallas Athene a few blocks down the way. It remains to be seen if he will be held or released with time served as many such offenders have been over the past two years.

Good Morning, Dindustan!: Urban Life at the End of Caucasian Time

Add Comment
ShepFebruary 12, 2018 5:08 PM UTC

Iadomes' marksmanship is improving—hitting a car at conversational distance. Must be practicing.
Sam J.February 12, 2018 3:12 AM UTC

"...released with time served as many such offenders have been over the past two years..."

Jesus Christ. We could clean up this whole mess in about 3 or 4 years if we gave these people hard time, I mean shooting at someone should get you hard time. We could house them in my western permaculture project in the deserts out west. It's most likely the same damn people over and over. Their population is 40 million or so. Maybe need half that in spaces. We could do that. After two years or so they would be producing food and they would pay their own way. I would also at the same time let go ones that weren't violent but were busted for drugs.