The following picture was part of a photo study of a an ancient Greek rules boxing match, taken by artist Joseph Beloffatto working on The Broken Dance project.
It remains as the most photogenic picture of me ever taken and is nicely propagated by people who think I'm cool. It shows up on twitter associated with a thread on asthetics over functionality.
I could not in good faith engage in this with an amateur boxer, as it would endanger his hands and put him in violation of USA Boxing bi-laws. I was ejected from the organization as a coach for just such experimental combat activity.
Pro middleweight, Tony Cygan was willing, but that would have netted a mere 20 seconds of footage before the ambulance was called to remove my body. Joseph needed some footage to recreate the bout between Aristonikus and Klietomackus.
Numerous heavyweight karate fighters declined my invitation to beat my ass with modified kenpo gloves.
So Chuck Goetz, my friend, co-founder of Modern Agonistics, Taekwondo fighter and stick-fighter, volunteered to fight me. I insisted that he wear the rib guard and headgear as he was not a skilled boxer and we were going all out, trying to KO each other. The Mexican landscapers who watched us fight and spar at Riverside Park, hated me as the dastard villain and called me "Diablo Mano" and loved Chuck, their hero, who they called Loco Lobo.
Checkout the photo then I'll tell you how the fight went, you bodybuilding beauty boys...
I boxed Chuck's ears off for 26.5 minutes without a break, bloodying his nose and knocking his headgear off.
Then he hit me—once, with a straight right under my heart. My oldest son counted over a hundred punches landed on Chuck and only one on me.
I could not throw another punch as he tore my intercostal muscle and a cartilage, and I raised my hands in defeat and acknowledged Chuck's victory.
Balls beats beauty.
I'm actually glad I'm not good looking anymore.
That evil little longhaired prick zooming in for a liver shot, every redneck in Baltimore County knew that there old lady would fuck him in a heartbeat and were lined up infinitely deep to take my scalp.
Now, this one-eyed old bald fuck—rednecks in the same area stop their monster truck and wave his old ass across the street.
Let's end the age of pretty boys now.
