The other night I saw a lame WWII movie, which failed to keep me awake. One thing that did strike me was the notice that it was rated PG-13 for ‘historical smoking’!

Are you kidding me!

How ridiculous. Keep in mind that I hate cigarettes, am allergic to them, hate cigarette smokers, and have written the blood spattered novelette Menthol Rampage in which a man with my condition goes postal and kills smokers in a mania to be avenged upon their vile selves as often as possible before the cops put him down.

I have been horrified at how many young people smoke. However, it is none of my business unless they blow it in my face. I recently watched The Day the Earth Stood Still from 1952 in which doctors were pictured smoking in an examination room and an entire family was smoking at breakfast! I thought it was hilarious, and, it should be rated G. Our children and grandchildren should have every opportunity to see how ridiculously stupid, rude and vile their great grandparents’ generation was.

Excuse me, but we have known since the stone age, when we smoked those obsolete hominids from their dens 100,000 years ago, that smoke inhalation kills reliably.

Look, if myself and the last nine other humans on earth were rescued by aliens right before Allah’s Comet hit, and those nine people smoked, and were provided with unlimited tobacco by the aliens, I would be the last member of my species on the second day out from earth.

Making cigarettes taboo is nothing more than a guarantee that our youth will smoke for defiance’s sake. This is what we get for winning WWII. The brats born to the Greatest Generation now sandblast our minds at every opportunity. I should not complain though, for I now have a hope, a reason to live into old age. I want to live long enough to see an America where the busybody descendents of the pilgrims no longer set the cultural bar; an America overrun by polite Asians and Hispanics who could care less what we watch or think.