The subject is a dark-skinned black man in his late 30s, muscular to stout, with shaven head. He sits with hands together, intertwined on his lap, reclining slightly, seeming to eye the camera with some slight suspicion. It can be seen that his pose is affected to show off his shirt, which is embroidered with:

DRINKS

NEWS

BLINKS

He winks at the camera, as if on cue without an audible prompt:

“Russel Drinks, of Sandtown, Baltimore. Think you been lied to by the White Media and their Uncle Toms while you see the world on the brink, while you see the African Ascent sink?

“Don’t blink, ‘cause Drinks got the news blinks for you. You want the truth, then come to Drinks News Blinks for the scoop.”

“Today we are coming to you in association with the Incognegro Studio.”

“My association with Crackman Can—which is by no means a slander—goes back to The Rising, that righteous upwelling of indignation over the Baltimore Police Department murder of Freddie Gray. That was real—they killed that man, killed him it seems like, for fun, out of hand.

“We knew it was coming down. At the time I was the community outreach officer of a traditional urban fraternity that has been unjustly characterized as a gang. As a news professional, I may no longer serve said organization in an official capacity. For that would constitute a breach of journalistic trust.

“So, the DOJ puts the BPD under investigation. The BGF [1] and Crip 52 declare they will be clipping cops. So the police department pulls in all lone officers and buddies them up, crushing their already poor and corruption-riddled intelligence. Certain outreach officers extended the opportunity of inclusion in unnamed and unlicensed civic organizations to the students at Frederick Douglas High School if they would purge Mondawmin, which was nothing but a bunch of money grubbing corporate chain fronts.”

[Muffled prompt.]

“No, I’m not saying it was right, just reporting the facts here. It was at this time that I decided on a change in career, when I saw what civic activism wrought, which was a whole lot of woe, hundreds more brothers and sisters dead in the streets every year since, starting on the instant of The Rising, placing the unseen hand of The Man, as causally there.

“A shipment of Heroin, known as The Mother Load, was brought in by interstate, right down I-95 and I-80. Those junkies in New York had to be fiending something terrible, so much of their dope was shipped down to Baltimore. There were no state cops on the road, no county cops anywhere but Towson, and no city cops anywhere but Mondawmin, for a week! Protection was provided by Philadelphia PD, and is why they remained cut in to Baltimore task force seizures until that came to light, and probably to this day, with whatever crew replaced Jenks’ team.

[Muffled prompt.]

“He was not the organizer, but a fall guy. A white lady officer ran that entire thing. We can do a joint dive on this subject at some later date. This shirt is tight, right. They your kids on the embroidery machine?”

[Muffled prompt.]

“Military contractors on the streets to keep citizens locked down while five man gang crews were given free reign to burn, rob, rape and loot. That there, was just cover, for the real Operation, which was getting the Phyntenal out of every pharmacy in Baltimore City. This was done by 36 three-person entry crews, each with a female communications officer and transport support. Down to this very day the BPD and FBI has refused to investigate these crimes that were preserved on video.

[Muffled prompt.]

“Like the Romans said, ‘who benefits?’ This was to kill people, 200 more murders a year over night and 2,000 more overdose deaths just like turning off a light. That is every year since. The Big-G Government wanted this and I saw that, that I was their puppet in helping organize the community against the small-g government to effect a paradigm shift, to ignite the true drug war, with drugs as the weapon not the bone of contention, to bring about what we have now in Phentland.

[Muffled prompt.]

“Ma Man! That’s right where Can comes in. So, we just happen to be lightly associated based on music videos I recorded for Can’s girl’s manager, her being a hip hop dancer and shopping that talent around. I normally went up to Wilmington, on occasion, to do this media production work—I mean, things were ragged up there, nothing like this here. I couldn’t just remote this.

“When I told Can I couldn’t make it because there was so much stuff about to come down in Baltimore and I was thinking on using it to launch a reporting career, especially when I saw no news but lies on it, he said, “I’d like to help,” and he got himself on a Chinese megabus and shows up with ideas of being my security.

“Can is a very protective individual. He saw me as his girl’s ticket to fame and wanted to assure that. People say this a lot, that ‘he would do anything for you,’ ‘give you the shirt off his back,’ about certain people who later come to notoriety. But Can was really, That Dude, literally gave me the shirt off his back after this particular event, when mine got ripped off by a high-speed Phentland zombie, probably the first, the very prototype of what Doctor Breck calls the Fasts.

“Tuesday night, the pharmacies all went down, cleaned out. The Mother Load was in. Now it needed cut, right. Well, the phent is being used, of course to cut heroin. One organization has a deal with another, to cut this stuff up and wanted someone who is not involved in the business, you know, to be like a U.N. observer. This role fit with my new media persona.

“Can is in town. It’s Wednesday, and I’m supposed to observe the cut.

“We were right there in the Community Action neighborhood. That always killed me, that they put that lie on those people that got settled there. This of course is an alley activity at that time. A certain dude has brought meth, right, wherever he got that from. Because that is not a traditional drug that has ever been let into Baltimore by the people who control the trade.

“So you got this junkie, this miserable white creature test subject hangin’ out for free dope. That bit of meth was cut with some phent, and boom, that emaciated near-dead junkie became superman, whoppin’ up on a hard crew. We gotta cut goin’ on and—well, this is how Crackman Can got his name.

“Five dudes, buff ones and thick ones, cannot restrain this junkie. Can, who is just a normal sized dude, he up ends an old aluminum trashcan for a medicine table, takes out a box of diet tablets, a Mountain Dew, a glass pipe with two chunks of ready rock, as you may know that is crack cocaine, downs the diet tablets, chases them with the can of soda, and then hits that pipe. Boom, it was like Mighty Joe Young! Can not only shoved those buffs and thicks out of the way, he overpowered that high-speed dope fiend—hugged that fiend until it broke, like ‘Eh, I’m done, my back is snapped!’ And it just got all calm and shook a little and walked off, limping and clicking, with bones that had been broke making terrible noises in that alley, which was now silent with amazement.”

“We talked about this recipe of his at various times in our association over the next handful of years. Can, does not get high, does not even drink, except medicinally to come down off the diet pill/Dew/ready rock combination. The thing is, he only does this to help people out. Your car is broke down and you need it pushed: Boom! Can’s rolling that sucker to the garage. You need one of those heavy-ass sectional couches all full of metal put out on the street for bulk trash pick up or eviction: Boom!”

[Muffled prompt.]

“I call it a miracle of chemistry. Dude can’t even read, but he came across the Holy Ass-Whoopin’ Grail. Plus, he can quote scripture, Bible verse. It’s like Black Popeye with a smokey can of spinach, right! I mean, I’m creative as the next man, right?”

[Leans forward and frames the shirt logo with his hands.]

“Drinks News Blinks—I mean that’s slick, tight, right? But Black Crackhead Popeye, I could have never made that up. That—and I know you talked to Mister God Hates Chem Trails, God bless you brother—that is a miracle, God even sending down his most toasted son in a whiff of smoke to get some good done.”

“That’s the Truth to the Great White Lie about Crackman Can, and you heard it here from Russel Drinks News Blinks!”

…

Notes

-1. Black Guerilla Family.