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Train Tea
Hobo Nutritional Notes: San Jose, CA, 4/26/2023
© 2023 James LaFond
I am scaling 151, with a target weight of 145 in 4 weeks. For multiple fights against bigger, younger men, I need maximum stamina and minimal body weight [1], so want to fight at a walking around weight, not a cut weight. It makes no sense for me to fast for 2 days on the train across the nation, and there is nothing on Rick’s List to be had in the Amtrak Cafe car. I would not want to lose any of my few remaining shreds of muscle.
Today I prepare for tonight’s journey across this tranny himation. I need to be able to sleep as much as possible sitting up over 2 days.
I have, in my pocket, my salt and pepper vial, refilled from packets at the hotel breakfast bar.
[Those who provided the following travel rations are named in brackets.]
In a side pouch of the rucksack is:
-A bag of sausage bites [Yeti Waters]
-2 pepperoni and cheese stick snacks [Dove]
-1 keto chocolate bar [Yeti Waters]
-5 keto chocolate peanut butter cups [Yeti Waters]
-4 cups of peanut butter [swiped from the hotel snack counter]
-2 packets of tuna fish [SaySay]
To load my canteen with something more nutritious than the fifth of Fireball whiskey that Little Boy gifted me, I did the following:
-5 ounces of XDar Ukrainian wheat vodka [Vaxx Zombie De Gaulle]
-4,000 milligrams of vitamin C [Lynn Lockhart’s postal vitamin service]
-8 ounces of Tazo Decaf Lotus Blossom Green Tea [hotel coffee bar]
-8 ounces of Tazo Calm Chamomile Tea [hotel coffee bar]
-2 ounces of water
The rucksack is half packed by the hotel door, and I can still smell the sweet scent of SaySay’s Asian hair. When she asked me if I wanted a massage and then sat on my back while I was face down on the bed, I wondered if her supervisor had given the order to off me. Apparently I have nor run afoul of the Republic Of Korea Military Intelligence Service and appear free to go. The tuna fish cinched it—I knew she wouldn’t waist good seafood on some round-eyed old fool slated for the morgue slab.
Vaxx Zombie has taken me to eat Chinese, Mexican, Chinese and to shop at Mexican and Sikh liquor stores for beer, whiskey and pork rinds, refusing to let me pay a dime. He has also informed me, as my webmaster, that the site has never been directly under attack. But rather, the various take downs of the site, and e-book store malfunctions, are due to the web hosts, who insist on planned obsolescence, requiring him to continually “redesign the Conestoga wagon wheel,” or pay additional service hikes—Murca! Same as the tranny nation ever was.
I depart soon as I rack this laptop in the center of the ruck and pack it in bag gloves, stick fighting mitts and shirts, all given to me by my gracious hosts.
Thank you all.
-1. I now know from experience as well as theory, that being lighter amounts to being hit less hard and doing less damage to my pencil neck.
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