“James, I know you’re busy, but I have this small version of the gladius, not the big Cold Steel model, but the 20-inch Windlass Steelcrafts Qama for home defense. How should I use this to defend myself in my home? Right now I’m practicing like it’s a stick with the occasional stab.”

-Take the Matriarchy

Okay, bro, if the Matriarchy is giving you trouble, giver her my phone number and tell her to bring her yoga mat and a beer coaster…

What you have there is the national weapon of the nation of Georgia, which was based on the ancient Roman gladius and is a fine trench sword. The point will pop through a human body with ease and the skull with minimal effort.

Practice from the mid guard, with the pummel back by our lower right rib above your liver, the blade passing across your body and the point serving as a site.

Your empty hand should be up like you are boxing, with the open fingers touching your jaw, so that you can shield against head shots, have a neck slash shield in place and can trap downward with the hand, and most importantly, so that when you slash diagonally from your guard, the blade will pass under your elbow to your hip.

Once you have slashed to your hip you have four options:

-1. Backhand slash high at the face with your empty hand following for a stiff arm to the chest, shoving them back while they are leaning away from your face slash, or stopping them as they crash in.

-2. Backhand stab [the classic epee thrust], running them through and then deploying the stiff arm to push them off the blade to open up the blood channel and free the blade for the next antagonist.

-3. Stiff arm or check as you pull the blade flat-to-body around your waist back to the mid guard—a good place to transition to a thrust if they are closing.

-4. Slash viciously at their belly. If they pull the guts back and away that will leave the head forward and you can plunge the blade in between head and shoulder, finishing them. Only do this if they have help or are armed and intent on killing you.

The other strokes from the mid guard are:

-the chop to the side of head or neck, either retracted or slid down for a gut stab while checking with the empty hand

-the pronated stab [the classic Italian rapier thrust] from the outside angle done while stepping to the right side and stabbing inward to the left.

-In a do or die hallway fight, the supinated stab to the solar plexus accompanied by a checking hand to the high chest or forehead is your one stop shopping option.

This weapon pairs with a jacket or shirt very well, in which case I recommend whipping the garment backhanded across their face and then driving the blade with a low leftward pronation trough the stomach and spleen and then out the right kidney. Alternately, you might want to shove it downward into the guts and then down into the genitals from above so that it doesn’t get caught between a low rib on the back end and maybe wrenched out while the attacker is writhing away. The checking hand is intended to minimize such fuss.

If they have an extension weapon, like a bat, shield high with the empty hand as you close and run them through as explained above.

If they have a knife, use X cuts to threaten their hand and face alternately, with you best bet taking off their hand. A stab doesn’t do them in instantly, so running them through if they have a knife could become a mutual kill.

If they have a gun you are getting shot so charge with your left hand extending towards their gun hand and drive the solar plexus stab all the way through them, the wall or out the door and down the stairs. Any fucker that shoots you must be dragged to hell along with you, that way you can re-kill them when you get there and possibly land an early promotion. The answer to the gun is the fasted sprint you can manage with the blade aimed for center of mass, because this is your last stroke.

Drill 20 minutes a day, every day.

Fighting Smart: Boxing, Agonistics & Survival