Forget just in time grocery ordering systems.

We need just in time ass-kicking systems.

It’s a shame Paladin Press and Loompanics Unlimited are not around anymore when you need them. But we do have Manticore to see us through these trying times.

I received this in the email, dripping with virtual tears from the hipster faɡɡots of civilization weeping into the very ether:

“Bro, new book in these exciting times. Celebration of fellow barbarian LaFond pp. 10-11.

Enjoying the pseudo-apocalypse immensely.

Economic collapse will be even better!

Viking Age Barbarian

I stayed up drinking beer in celebration of finishing my 7th book in March 20-Septic and would like to pull a favorite quote or two from the worthy tome headlining below:

The Barbarian Reborn

Weaponry & Survivalism in the Post-Apocalyptic Wastelands

Viking Age Barbarian

Wait, I thought I was here alone—11 beers gone—but it now seems I’m with friends: Justin W. R. Justice, T. Spoone Slickens, William “Black Superman” Holdout and…what da f…Stevedore Jackson! Their comments henceforth preceded by a -dash.

“It will be argued that the post-apocalyptic survivor needs to embrace a physical culture of strength with a quasi-religious fervor, making toughness part of one’s very being.”

-That’s right!

“In a myriad of superb, but vastly under-appreciated books, both fiction and non-fiction, LaFond has explored the same theme…”

-I knew that Negro was somebody—always up in hear with a book…

-What? Nah—fo real?

-Nahnahnah—I’ll neva believe my lille Jimmy white—oh, hell no!

“It is always a good idea to keep an eye on what the global financial elite are up to. The mega-money class have acute, near prehistoric survival instincts, combined with super-cunning…”

-You know it—en if you don’t The Man Do! So you better know it too! Lightning Hopkins got nuttin’ on me, Swea’ Pea!

“…significant proportions of modern populations, have delusional beliefs about the superiority of their cognitive abilities, but lack the metacognitive capacity to be able to discern this; in short, such people are too stupid to be aware of their stupidity…”

Every day all day and twice on Wednesday night!

“…the nine noble virtues rise to central importance in one’s life: courage, truth, honor, fidelity, discipline, hospitality, self-reliance, industriousness, and perseverance.”

-Yep, nothin’ a bitch believes in is true!

“Punching and the hammer fist are my thing. The hammer fist action fits in nicely with the use of weapons such as a sword, Viking axe and various types of “smashers…”

-Hell yeah—even O.J. needed a knife!

The various capsule reviews of blade and tool types and brands is superbly done—VAB knows his blades for sure. I have to say his high opinion of Kershaw and Tromatina machetes is shared by this user. Through to the end of the book the author gives a penetrating look at melee weapons as diverse as swords, sticks, polearms and clubs, offering historical testimonies mixed with practical observations concerning potential future conditions. Below is an excellent example of beaming the bright light of the past into the dark future:

“In the artwork known as Trajan’s Column, the largest artwork of ancient Rome, there is a portrayal of the Dacian wars (101-102 AD, and 105-106 AD). Pictured are Germanic warriors recruited into Roman forces. Some are bare-chested, some wearing bear-pelts (berserkers), others wolf-pelts, but many have clubs as a primary weapon.444 The Germanic club-wielder fought in the front line of shield walls and used clubs, often with iron-studded knots, against armored horsemen. As Speidel puts it, “neither horsemen nor the tightly crammed foot soldiers of more advanced societies can easily dodge the crushing blows of clubs.” In AD 312, the Battle at Torino was won for Emperor Constantine, primarily by club-wielders. Mention has already been made of the goedendags used by the Flemish to beat the French knights at Courtrai in 1302.”

-As any football player can tell you, helmets do nothing to prevent concussions and make neck injuries worse.

Thanks, William.

In his gun chapter, Happiness is a Hot Gun, the author points out that wolves avoid human contact only where humans own guns and were they do not, rural life becomes a dark version of the Three Little Pigs faerie tale.

He also notes the following bullshit PC standards placing wolves over men:

“For wolf attacks to be “documented,” Mader notes, there are some unreasonable criteria that need to be met, which make it difficult to document wolf attacks in the first place. For a start, the person must die from the attack – bites are not classified as attacks! There need to be independent eye witnesses and it must be proven that the wolf has never been kept in captivity.”

It sounds like pro-hoodrat reporting in Baltimore.

The wolf stories in here are worth the price of the book alone:

“Wolf scat examined by Canadian researchers was found to contain the fur and claws of both black bears, even grizzly bears.”

-Fuck dat—maybe Bodymore ain’ dat bad…

Then he gets into bear attacks, and post-apocalyptic bear attacks…this book is great.

I enjoyed the read, a six pack and 4 fours of fun.

Where did you guys go?

Oh, so its like that—the beer stops flowing even on Tuesday night and a negro is all of a sudden alone? Okay, I gotcha! See if I’ll be invitin’ y’all for that bag of wine…