[The Crackpot answers in brackets.]
James, I was listening to Lynn Lockhart on the Return to Werewolf Podcast and thought I would float some ideas about getting you out there more.
[I really appreciate you caring about my fortune, Ethan. I fear popularity and am terrified of celebrity. For every person that likes my work ten hate it.]
You should be properly paid for the excellent insights you offer, usually for free.
[Bro, if I made a lot of money I'd spend the rest of my life under a big-assed Dominican stripper drinking 151 rum straight while she rode me and spit it in my mouth—and would turn into a piece-of-shit like almost every other American literary icon.]
I think I could get you a debate with Vox Day.
[I'd rather fight Mike Tyson after wringing the neck of his favorite pet pigeon and would probably do better—besides, I don't debate, its gay.]
Have you thought about a comic based on one of your stories?
[Yes. In fact, I wrote my literary will yesterday and stated the following: "#19 Comic books and graphic novels are art forms I dislike and I therefore express my wish that nothing written by me be debased by conversion to this limp-wristed media."]
With the dearth of original stories in movies surely you could shop one of your tales around at the scy-fy channel.
[Ethan, this appeals to me. I am perfectly fine with someone arranging this. Consider yourself my agent. I would prefer a cartoon version though, so that we can have big-assed white women in the story. I think Buzz Bunny and Planet Buzzkill are the two best candidates. Consider yourself my agent. If you can arrange a deal you should get 60% and I'll take 40%.]
James, you should start doing Crackpot Podcasts again.
[Ethan, you are right. Thanks for volunteering to record and produce the series. You can put it behind a paywall and keep all the money. Do not prep me. I refuse to do podcasts if I know ahead of time what it is because it interferes with my writing. The exception is Myth of the 20th Century, because of the nature of their format.]
James, BAP has done well by promoting his work on social media. Would you consider getting on twitter, Instagram or any other platform?
[No.]
What do you think, James, is there anything on this list you would be willing to do?
[I'd like to see someone make Buzz Bunny into a cartoon and Planet Buzzkill into a Scy-Fy Channel or BET movie. I am also willing to do podcasts if its no work and my only editor does not have to be sidelined to do that work. Essentially I care a lot about my next book and generally don't give a shit about the one I just wrote.]
[Ethan I really appreciate your help here and your concern. The only reason why people seem to care about me—I was really touched over Lynn and Paul's concern for the promotion of my work—is that they regard me as a decent human being. I fear they only labor under this conception because I'm unsuccessful. If I were a success, I would be such a jerk that I'd probably lose all my friends. Thank you so much, Ethan.]
These are probably all the reasons that make James a person that his followers can respect. He speaks the truth without concern for how it will effect his bank account or popularity.
I miss the Crackpot Podcasts, too, and hope they return.
Are there still people taking Ted Beale (aka "Vox Day") seriously?