As Manny and I drank beer in the empty giggle-pop dance hall, I asked him how his day was going and he described to me the drool reality of his day job collecting dubious debts from dumbass debtors in about three sentences. He then asked me about my writing day.
“James, I'd like to think of myself as a patron of the arts. My opinion of cocaine, when I used it, was that it was using tomorrow's energy today. Writing, when it is done well, is a preservation of today's energy for tomorrow—a projection. Your work is important. So how was work today?”
The crackpot answered, “Wrote a long article in response to a game developer who sent in some really thoughtful comments and questions and he used the term venn diagram, and I don't know what that is. So that's humbling, good for me to be introduced to something else I'm totally ignorant of.”
Out came the Smith and Wesson tactical pen from the pocket of the cloth-of-gold vest.
Out from the inner pocket of the black raincoat came a print out of a prospective dancer's audition photo and he laid it on the teak wood bar top with a grimace of misgiving admiration, “Eesh, I just don't like it when these Hispanic babes inject their asses and make them blow up like this, but I thought you'd appreciate the art of it. She'll make a lot of money.”
The latent hoodrat drooled, “Damn, she's perfect.”
Manny smiles and snickers and says, “I suppose Hemingway would understand. Fortunately, the giant, and suspiciously pale, ass provides an ample writing surface for a venn diagram.”
He draws a large circle within one cheek of the prospective ass and says, “This is what I like in its totality, a moderately to thin proportion girl with a real pretty face with nice hair.” He then writes within the circle, 'Manny's ideal bitch.'
He then draws another circle that slightly intersects with his circle at about where the G-string is lost at the top of the ass cleavage, and within it writes, 'LaFond's dream bitch,' and instructs, “You see, your circle encompasses everything your barbaric taste likes in a woman, including a pretty face and nice long, curly hair with bounce. That, her pretty face and nice hair, is where our taste in women intersects. I can do without the giant jelly ass and the trashcan lid tits. You see?”
My life coach then held up the picture of the pale Latina ass with two circles slightly intersecting below her tailbone and I nodded as I had a hard time not focusing on the enormous breasts, and he continued to amplify his point:
“Or we could forget the bitch. For instance, if we are speaking of writers who are masculine and writers and men who are fighters, who are not cucks, than this small overlap represents you, because you are a fighter that writes. We could also say that this circle represents writers and this other circle represents blacks, and again we would see a small overlap occupied by black writers.”
“I get it, Manny, thanks!”
“Would you like to keep the diagram?”
“Oh, hell yeah. Thanks, Bro.”
