The young man—in his prime now—who took over Modern Agonistics in 2017 is staging another gathering of knucklehead kind. I have extended proxy invitations to men across the country, and fear that Flip the Hero Phone went “searching for service” before I texted the info to Portland Joe and Yeti Waters.
The event will be the weekend of June 10-12 in the Appalachians above Knoxville. The deal is this:
You have to fight to attend.
Females are discouraged unless brought to operate video equipment in hopes of a documentary film outcome.
I suggest using this article as an informal registration by placing as a comment your fight name and what type of fighting at what level you would like to engage in. This will help Sean structure the event and all of us to avoid debilitating injury. Below I use myself as an example:
Fight name: Kangis Krumb
[So named by a cracker and a quean.]
Age: 59—ouch, it hurt writing that.
Weight: 168
Target weight [hoped to be on June 10]: 150—so I can run like a coward from Backfist Mick!
Hailing from the State of: hobohood
MMA: No way!
Kickboxing: Cracker, you must be kidding!
Wrestling: If you are over 50.
Boxing: If you are over 50.
Stick fighting: Yes, all challenges accepted. If you are a novice, I will spar with you lightly. If you are an experienced stick fighter, I will try and whoop that young ass!
Trainer knife: I’m only doing trainer knife duels with my fellow elders—it’s not fair for us to take advantage of you strippling whelps.
Machete duels: [With blunted edges] Yes, all comers.
…
Bouts are all timed for a minute.
You can ask Sean for a mutually agreed upon exception, which I will do below.
Challenge Structure: According to our version of the Code Duello, a party who is challenged gets to decide on the form of the contest.
For instance, I challenged Juan “The Last Good Cop” Stabone to grapple, thinking that Cop versus Creep combat among the elderly would be entertaining to the youth. So, it is only right that Juan decides what kind of grappling: ground [starting on the floor], jacket [clothed upright throwing], catch [Shirtless upright to ground]. If we start on the ground, giving Juan a pair of handcuffs to slap on me might be fun.
I have challenged Backfist Mick to box. So, he should decide if we are going to do, No Clinch [Gypsy rules], Clinch [holding and hitting allowed], or LPR [London Prize Ring] meaning that clinching and stand-up submissions and throws are also permitted.
Machete duels will either be shield or no shield [chosen by the challenged fighter] with specific weapons assigned by the two eldest spectators, the challenged party being armed by his patron first. So, for a duel, we should have the judge and two seconds running the thing.
For every fight I suggest a second for each man in addition to the referee. This really helps with preventing injury, especially from gear failure.
With kickboxing the challenged party can decide on what rules set: American [no leg kicks], International [leg kicks]. Sanshu [throws permitted.]
Since most amateur MMA and kicking venues still bar elbows and knees from novice use, I would suggest we do so as well.
With MMA, I suppose there is really just one rule set and would also suggest that only those of us who have competed in the cage, or in multiple sub-disciplines [such as wrestling & boxing or BJJ & kickboxing] try this out.
These events have been conducted on a developmental level, in order to build the capabilities of the men so gathered. If you have been invited, it is in part because either Sean or myself believe that you will be looking out for your opponent and not fighting like an animal, so each man can return to his work, family [or box car] and training increased rather than decreased in ability.
Oh yes, drinking and fighting must be kept strictly separate.
I do not know if Sean will be running a gun range this year. Hit him up for any information. I have written this as an aid without discussing it with him in detail and he’s making the decisions, not me.
Thanks Sean, for keeping this alive.
I am hoping to see:
Incognegro
Yeti Waters
Big Ron
Portland Joe
King of Dogs
The Adam Bomb
The Roaming Viking
The Brick Mouse
Backfist Mick
Juan Stabone
Nero the Pict
Dennis the Menace
and the other half dozen or so invited men according to whatever moniker they might choose to fight under.
This is an extreme counter culture event. If someone is interested in doing a video documentary of this, email me and I’ll put you in touch with Sean.
PS: Backfist Mick, you might want to invite your eclectic doctor friend as a useful observer, since our only medic will be fighting. I checked with Wuhan Jon, but he’s off doing gain of function research for the summer in his home town. Doctor Dread is also unavailable…
Greetings gentlemen!
Here is a highlight from the last man weekend. Knoxville TN is the meeting location.
youtu.be/bOA9UtfZ31w
I will be running a gun range this year so all caliber of firearms and explosives are encouraged.
Confirmed thus far:
Myself
Majin Dennis
The one eyed ogre
New Keith
Old Dennis
Old Keith
Mescaline
Jersey J
Bad Smitten
Cory
Adam
Brett
Contact me here or at smglass2@yahoo.com
Name: Yeti Waters
Age: 43
Height: 6 foot 2
Weight: 280lbs
Hailing from: Southeast Portland
Sticks, knives, machetes: Oh hell no
Bareknuckle boxing: Yes
MMA, Grappling: No
Training: real world combat against mostly untrained opponents
Skill level: unknown at this time
Age 43
Height 5'9
Weight 175
Dirty Jersey
Boxing, Grappling, MMA, sticks. I'll give machetes a try wtf.
Just recently, since moving back into the woods, I was bemoaning the lack of anyone readily available to kick the ever-loving shit out of me. What a fantastic, timely and honorable invitation I find here today! Much obliged.
Please pencil me:
1-Novice sticks vs El Maestro Mr. LaFond.
2-Novice boxing.
Please advise if I can bring/provide anything besides a punchable face.
Name: Brick Mouse/Peter Pan
Age: 29
Weight: 160 lbs, aiming for 155 fighting weight
Origin: Harm City
Combat: stick, knife, boxing
Skill level- amateur/novice with fast feet
Training: racket sports, backyard sparring, endurance
Name: Keith [KC if we need to differentiate from new Keith]
Age: 33
Height: 5’10”
Weight: 170[ish]lbs
Hailing from: Lancaster, Pa
Sticks, knives, machetes: Knives only
Bareknuckle boxing: No; Boxing w/ gloves preferably
MMA, Grappling: Yes
Training: very limited training; two years of boxing, wrestling, knives, etc.
Skill level: novice
Looking forward to getting together and sparring—it’s been too long!