Jane Goodall has been observing chimps in the wild for longer than my old ass has been alive. What she has peeled away layer after layer is the realization upon realization that those characteristics that we have claimed one-by-one are uniquely human are in fact shared with chimps. This of course has turned her into an environmentalist as she has seen her study subjects slaughtered for the postmodern African version of fast food.

You right wingers will hate this, but she’s not making it up. You left wingers will hate the fact that she actually agrees with Jared Diamond that Easter Island [Rapa Nui] natives [non-whites, supposedly incapable of ecological crimes] cut down their last tree. She sounds like a tree-hugger, but her chimps are almost gone. So I gave her a pass.

This rambling old Brit broad never does get around to talking about Chimps, but she sounds mighty proper stumbling about the primate landscape, now dominated by a type of bald bugger that she only vaguely comprehends.

My favorite moment in this documentary is her description of a female Japanese chimp—there has to be a racial joke there somewhere—who is proficient on a touch screen computer. I see a glimmer of hope in that fact. With our young people growing up on touch screen technology, we are in a sense returning to the jungle, devolving into hairy little tree huggers! By the time the Africans eat all of Jane’s chimps we will be breeding our own!

Problem solved Jane. Take a vacation already.