An hour ago I was lying here in the Land Lady’s igloo returning a call to Incognegro while she was getting dressed. When she heard me announce my return to the east for “March Thirty-first,” she flipped a middle finger at me…
“James, I know we have shot a lot of video and not much has gone up. I just want to explain that it is not laziness, that it is perfectionism. I have been gathering all the best equipment. Then I looked around and saw, I have everything I need—actors too.”
“Bro, I never thought you were afflicted with laziness. I have not sat in judgment. I simply assumed the lack of production was vested deep in your Sub-Saharan genome.”
[laughter]
“I recall you wrote somewhere, in an email, I think, that I was clear to the rights to video production.”
“Everything but hardback books, editor gets that, and ebooks, that is for the site.. I no longer to remote interviews—the eye is killing me. In person interviews I’ll do with anyone who is buying me booze, including cops, HVAC mechanics, carpenters, evil dictators and pretty little Injuns.”
“Okay, the script for A Hoodrat Halloween, could I get your input on that? Its done and I’m set for casting, for the movie.”
“Bro, any of my bad ideas you want to do audio, video, animated productions of—it’s yours.”
“Well, James—the script—”
“I don’t write scripts. As long as Regimon Thom has his sugar cane machetes, I’m good.”
“I thought it was perfect—Planet Buzzkill is something, you know, we need a bus, a liquor store. But a burn barrel and an alley, I have. The actors show up, they’ve been paid before for doing commercials. Would you like to play a part.”
“No, my acting ability is limited to pretending I’m not afraid when I am—which is like every time I get in the car with this woman.”
[the indigenous middle finger flashes into prominence again]
“I do recommend Brickmouse for Whitey Knowitall—has that aristocratic profile. Also, could we do an interview with Jason on the German book on seriality he translated?”
“Sure thing, be glad to. Speaking of which, James, next time we get together we need a good headshot.”
“Large caliber, please. I want a closed casket.”
[laughter]
“James, also, The Logic of Steel, I’d like to do a full length documentary on how you did that study, the history of the book. You know in England there is this media campaign against decorative knives like with guns here. I’d like to interview you on that. Ildris Ibris did a public service announcement against these knives.”
‘What! He cucked out, too! Are they all gay? I want you sitting next to me for this one—but I’m going to explain why James Bond should be black, and why I have pulled me endorsement for that negro!”
[laughter]
“You got it, James. I’m off to Jamaica for a few days and I’ll have plenty of down time there to work on this.”
So here is the deal, if you, any of you humans want to do a video, audio or animated version of something I have written, just text me at 443-686-0598. Whether its a movie, a testosterone supplement, an audio book or a T-shirt, I just want a copy.
Incognegro has been in progress with:
-Can
-A Hoodrat Halloween
-Skulker Jones
-40,000 Years from Home
-Planet Buzzkill
-Take Me to Your Breeder
Everything else is up for grabs.
I recommend Buzz Bunny for an animated short.
The same for paperback books, I you would like to print any of my 65 unpublished books in paper back on any platform, just contact me. Currently, I have no paper back publisher. Lynn gets all the hardback rights, of which she will likely publish 4 titles per year.
I just want a copy to give to one of my hosts to pave my hobo way.
