Last Friday night I got to work to find that Mushmouth Mike had been threatening to punch out Big Bubba, specifically threatening to knockout his young teeth, which I suppose is a point of jealousy common to 65 point IQ owners of false teeth. As Bubba checked out my drink before I began toiling for The Man, Steevo said, “Hey Jim, Mike wants to beat up Bubba. Don’t you think you ought to give him a lesson so he can defend himself?”
I just smiled and nodded knowing Bubba to be one of those guys who is so nice it would pretty much be a waste of time to teach him how to fight, and I train fighters. I do not teach self-defense.
Mike was avoiding Steevo, who is cinder-block head last choice on the crew for guy you want to fight in an alley. Since I’m the odd man out he sucked up to me. This behavior from someone who has just threatened bodily harm struck me as craven. If we were a band of mountain men I would have scalped him right then and there. So, upon consideration, and knowing that Bubba reads this blog, I have decided to give him what advice is appropriate from a boxing coach concerning surviving a punchout.
#1 Beware the sucker punch. Most sucker punches are effective and target taller men, as the key is access to the chin and jaw, which is the lever that short circuits the transmission of messages from the brain to the body.
#2 Know the punch is coming if possible by keeping an eye on the dirt bag.
#3 Tuck your chin and shrug your shoulders to minimize access to your jaw and shock to your neck.
#4 Step back with one foot as you tuck and shrug so that you have a brake that will keep you from falling and bashing your head on something harder than that asshole’s fist. You are about to get hit, but if he does not clip the chin and is not some kind of beast or trained fighter you will ride it out.
#5 Do not punch back and do not get hit again. Hang your arms over his arms then pull them in and hook your arms up under his from behind. Place your head next to his head over the shoulder so that he cannot head butt, bite off your nose, or spit or blow snot on you. Warning: If he is a vampire and/or prone to bite, or would be played by an Italian actor if this were the basis for a mafia movie, place your skull under his chin so he can't rip out your neck or take off your ear.
#6 He will try to pull his arms free. Work this ‘over hook’ clinch tight as you step on his feet. He will eventually get one arm lose. When this happens step close to the other side and hook the other arm high and tight, trying to rip it up and off his body [Don’t worry, it won’t actually come off unless you are a cyborg.] as you place the palm of your other hand on his far shoulder and continue to tuck your chin. If he keeps at it trip him and fall on top of him with your legs spread as you pull up with your arm. This will separate his shoulder and reduce his combat ability to almost nothing and also seriously compromise his video gaming score.
#7 Just hold onto this jerk like you life depends on it. Let a third party break it up.
That is the best advice I have for someone who is not a boxer or grappler for defending against a punch out attempt by an individual who is known to them. What I have described is the most used defense against punching in the boxing ring, and requires no skill.
James, I believe you have developed THE defense against the sucker punch. The "Fort Benning" solution as they would say in the Army. The sucker punch attack is invariably accompanied by holding and hitting: the assailant seizes you and holds you by your clothing, if not with the first blow then with the second and subsequent blows, in order to stabilize you and prevent your escape, maneuver and/or retaliation. Just study all the You tube videos to confirm this folks. That's why all those slick martial arts moves never seem to work in a real bar ambush since when you try to launch that devastating counterattack you end up getting distracted by all those punches delivered to your head. Furthermore you find you can’t break away to Jean Claude Van Damm spin kicking range because your assailant has a firm grip on your lapel. When the attack is launched you frequently start out just too far behind the power curve for most of those flashy movie-style martial arts moves to work as advertised (besides the fact that the arts frequently train you to respond to attacks that are no longer made any more, if they ever were). Your most viable course of action then is to move into your opponent and clinch with him, just as you described James, in order to avoid getting hit and knocked out and THEN executing your counter moves. The other thing I would suggest doing is that when you tuck your chin and shrug your shoulders you also bring your left arm, or left AND right arms, up in the Krav Maga “rhino” block to help deflect a swinging or over-hand blow aimed at your face. I would also suggest you have your students practice this move while holding a red Solo cup or plastic bottle in their right hand (assuming they are right handed of course) like you’re talking to someone else when the assailant approaches you (a common scenario). Then the student can either drop the cup or bottle to free the hand for grabbing and/or striking, throw the contents in his assailants face to blind and distract him and/or use the “glass” or bottle itself as a weapon, depending on the seriousness of the threat to the defender’s health and safety. You can also have your student hold a plastic mug in their right hand to practice this defense in an English pub scenario. FYI: Australia is currently experiencing an epidemic of sucker punch attacks (or “king hits” as they are referred to in OZ). dailytelegraph.com.au/news/police-publican-and-medics-back-lockouts-and-last-drinks/story-fni0cx4q-1226807169452 . Looks like they need your expertise down under as well James.
Sage advice Sir. I will work with empty water bottles as you suggested since we have so many at the gym. I had not considered using plastic drinking props.
Thanks for the link. I'll check it out.